Dr. Laura Comment on Her Radio Show

I heard Dr. Laura give this anwer to one of her callers. The caller wanted to change her life but didn't seem very motivated and wanted Dr. Laura's help. This to me says it all:

Nobody but you has the power over you. If you choose not to do it, it won’t be done. If you choose not to do the things you know you need to do to have a more quality life then you won’t have a more quality life. That’s up to you completely, as it is up to each and every one of us. Ultimately we’re responsible for what we do. And if you choose---and it is a choice---not to do the things you know you should and need to do then they won’t be done and your life won’t change for the better. It’s totally up to you. There is no magic formula or potion.

Getting Through the Tough Times

I've been going through something very emotional for me this last week or so. In the "old days" before I quit drinking, eating crap and smoking I would have drank more or ate more or smoked more. It really does, in reality, help with difficult situations we go through---I can't lie.

But I didn't even think of going back to any of my prior addictions because I'm over them. They're done, never to be started up again. It's just that knowing, no matter how tough things get in this world I can relieve myself other ways and feel better without going back to destructive addictions.

My #1 way to do this for me is to cry........and that's what I've been doing....

I Watched "Intervention" on Tv.....

I was watching Intervention a few nights ago. It was focusing on a young woman Jill who was 22 years old and was an alcoholic. Her parents had divorced years before and she had several brothers and sisters. They lived in UTAH and were an LDS family.

At one point in the show Jill said she just wanted to kill herself. She drank almost every day and could drink several drinks in an hour. It had lots of footage of her drunk. I've never seen the show but I guess the cameras follow the subjects of the particular show almost everywhere.

The mother had a big problem in saying "I love you." Even when the intervention counselor was meeting with the family before the actual intervention and told the mother it was important to tell her daughter "I love you", she said she couldn't do it. I thought how sad that the mother KNEW saying those 3 words could possibly make the difference in her daughter getting off alcohol....and she STILL couldn't say the words.

The intervention happened...everyone went around the room telling how much they cared for Jill and what her drinking was doing to them and the family..all asking her to go to get help (help at a 3 month clinic was offered to her). Jill was crying as well as all the family members (oh, and so was I)..

Jill decided to go to the recovery house for 3 months. 2 months later it showed mom going to visit Jill after not having seen her in 2 months. When Jill came out she hugged her mom and they sat down and talked for a moment. It was amazing for me to see the difference in Jill---she was aware, clear and full of life. When she was drinking she was falling down drunk, looked sickly and so unhappy.

The update about Jill months later......she slipped once but got right back on the wagon.

What the Problem Drinker Does

I was talking to a friend this morning who was telling me about her husband who is an alcoholic. The last time we talked she said that he drank several times a week. Today she said he now drinks every day. She goes to Al Anon and enjoys it---gets a lot out of listening to others tell their stories.

Today she shared with me how disgusted she feels when she's in his presence. He starts coughing or mumbles something and she just cringes. She only feels peace when he's out of the house. They've been married for 29 years, they live in a nice home and she doesn't know what the next step might be. I told her I understood because I'd been through that too. I had quit drinking then I moved in with my boyfriend who drank a lot and I lost all respect for him. I thought I could live in the apartment with him and be at peace as long as I didn't talk to Mark or have any communication with him.

But it didn't work. The energy of the drinker is still in the house. You feel it. You can't pretend he isn't there. You can try but it won't work for long.

I didn't have any answer for my friend.....

Addictions and Your Thoughts

I was off work today and was just doing errands, etc. and I began thinking of how the mind has so many thoughts throughout the day---it seems like there are so many negative thoughts fighting with the good thoughts.

For example....

I lost 5 pounds this month....but you're still a fat cow;
You haven't had a drink in 1 year...yeah, but Jenny hasn't had a drink in 10 years;
You've gotten down to just smoking 2 a day, down from a pack......yes, but
I'm still smoking and I hate that I can't quit completely yet...

See what I mean? You have to be aware of your thoughts. Know that some days you will have no problem with your thoughts, other days they'll be a bear.

Just remember this and your life will be a while lot easier!

Are People Addicted Because of Family Dysfunction?

I was reading a blog the other day. The blogger was saying that we are addicted because of family dysfunction---that it all ultimately goes back to the family. I don't agree with that totally, although I think there is some truth in it.

I think family is most likely one of the main reasons people get into addicted behavior---maybe the parents were addicted, weren't good parents or perhaps the mother or father told you that you would never amount to anything. You start smoking dope or drinking to ease the pain of those thoughts. I was terribly disturbed after the family moved to a new state and my parents got separated, then divorced. I wanted to say "Screw you!" to my parents so I ate uncontrollably and gained 90 pounds in 4 years. Then I drank and became alcoholic for 12 years and smoked for 28 years.

I think there are many reasons why we are addicted, family being only one reason.....

So Barack Obama Started Smoking Again

I remember watching Barack Obama and his wife Michelle on 60 minutes about a year ago or so. He said he HAD smoked but that he gave it up. He wanted to give it up before he started running for president. Michelle told us on national television that if we saw Senator Obama smoking to let her know. He seemed to have quit smoking altogether and as far as I know, he quit for several months.

But what happened recently? He admitted to starting up again. Why? Stress? Oh, yeah, he's under a lot of stress. I wonder how he feels having quit for quite a while then starting again. Next time he quits smoking---if there is a next time---I think it might be more difficult because he knows he didn't make it. He gave into smoking.

I wonder what his thoughts are on it?

21 Years Ago Today I Quit Drinking....

I remember going to an AA meeting during the first year of quitting drinking. A woman was speaking and she said she'd been sober for 7 years and I thought to myself "wow, someday I will be saying that." Now it's been 21 years.

The morning 21 years ago was a morning I'll never forget. Being so hung-over yet still being about to think about my life, the direction I wanted it to go in and how the 12 years of drinking---that life---was done. No regrets, no missing the alcohol. I knew I was going to start living a productive life now.

I think of how many people think that giving up alcohol will be too difficult because they'll be lonely, they won't have anything to fall back on, they're used to the life they have with the alcohol---but I had those thoughts maybe for....1 second? Then I saw what my life could and would be without alcohol to fall back on almost every day.

I saw this was the only life I could have. I knew I couldn't handle alcohol---it was so obvious---and it was OK. It was really OK that I wasn't going to have it in my life anymore. I was actually looking forward to it.

Life does have its ups and downs but I'm glad I quit and I never think about drinking anymore.