Saturday, October 25, 2008

Don't Let Fear Design Your Life

I heard Dr. Laura say this recently on her radio show. I had to write it down because I think it's such a powerful statement. I let fear run my life for years back when I was drinking. I thought I was drinking because it was fun and I liked to be social. That wasn't true. The truth was I was living in fear. I didn't know what I wanted to do and be in my life, I wasn't really happy in any of my relationships and I had no goals. None! I drank as a past-time, but it turned into more of a full-time gig.

You can save yourself a lot of time by facing your fear when you're aware that it's starting to affect your life.

Friday, October 17, 2008

What to Expect When You Quit Your Addiction

Expect your life to be strange & different. You're getting used to not falling back on addictions. I remember thinking how "weird" my life was when I quit drinking. Even though I thought it was fantastic that I had quit, I wasn't sure of the day to day things I had to do and the people I would meet in the world when I wasn't drinking. The old me would often have a few drinks before I went out to even do errands.

I remember too thinking that every day was new and I didn't know what to expect, but there was a bit of adventure in it too. What WAS this day going to bring? Could I handle it better because I wasn't drinking?

After about a year of being sober my life seemed to settle a bit but I drank heavily for 12 years so it took time for my life to seem "normal." But I love not being buzzed and drunk anymore. I could never go back to drinking.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Watched that "Intervention" TV Show

The guy Chad was now a crack cocaine user and alcoholic. He was talking about how it hurt him when his parents divorced and it hurt just as much when he was kicked off a bicycle racing team. He turned to drugs and alcohol.

His sister was talking and said that all Chad had to look forward to every day was getting high. I thought about that. I guess I used to think that way when I drank almost every day. Drinking was my high point, figuratively and literally.

It was great to watch the actual intervention. Chad was very willful and said he would NOT go to a drug treatment facility. His parents told him if he didn't they would stop all contact with him. He got up and left, giving all of them "the finger" as he told them "no" he wouldn't go to treatment. He was off to go back living in the streets where he had lived for a few years.

The interventionist found him the next day and said he had one last chance to say yes to treatment. Chad said yes and went out of state to a facility.

The part that I couldn't wait to see was the 3 months later---the family went to see Chad. I got emotional right along with the family seeing Chad. He had cut his hair, had nice clothes on and looked to clear and alive. Later they all sat down and Chad had written something he wanted to read to his parents to start making amends. When he started reading he said he was so sorry for what he'd put the parents through and he loved them so much. He broke down while reading it. Very emotional.

His real feelings came out when he was straight. Beautiful to see.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

From the TV Show "The Cleaner"

There's a need that overwhelms an addict.....a need that replaces love, pushes loved ones aside....opens a door that almost anyone can walk in. A need that makes a victim out of almost anyone.

How true.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Ya Gotta Have Moxie!

When you decide to give up your addiction you really have to have moxie I believe. You have to be determined, be courageous and be prepared to face the demons that come up. And they will come up. Your thoughts will try to sabatoge you constantly, especially in the beginning of your road to be free of your addiction. Expect it, know it and it will be easier.

I always say that when I quit drinking 21 years ago I never wanted to drink again. That's true, but the thoughts came in the beginning for sure. "What about just going out once and drinking since you've quit for 6 months" or "We know you can do it. You can start over again because you know you can do it." Yes, these thoughts came to me. I recognized them, identified them, had a good chuckle and I didn't drink.

Have moxie....and isn't it a cool word too...moxie? Love it!