Not Ready to Quit Yet?

I have a friend whose husband is an alcoholic. She told me recently her husband was hoping to speak with me about alcohol, knowing I'd been off alcohol for almost 22 years. I said yes, and he called a few days later.

We talked for about 15 minutes. He said he always had several drinks when he got home from work at night, and said he was afraid that he would miss it terribly. I told him he might in the beginning but that it was important to---right away, day 1---start doing things differently. Come home and immediately take a walk or get on the treadmill. I told him that I thought doing something physical was important.

Before we hung up he asked me if he could call again soon and talk to me. I said yes. A few days later his wife emailed me and said that her husband was drinking and it looked as if he wasn't going to give up alcohol just yet.

I explained that this is typical---someone will reach out, then go back to the addiction. Again, they will reach out to someone who can help them, get some good information on how to help quit the addiction, then go back to the addiction. But many times the 3rd or 4th time is "the time" when he or she absolutely quits for good.

It's just not his time yet. Is it yours?

What? You're Not Motivated?

I was listening to Dr. Laura recently. A caller called into the show stating that she was fat (the caller). She didn't like it and she knew how to eat and she had the gym membership but didn't go to the gym. She called in to ask Dr. Laura how to get motivated so she'd want to eath healthy foods and go to the gym.

Dr. Laura told her story to the caller---she gets up early in the morning to work out and isn't necessarily motivated at 5:00 am---in fact, she said she WASN'T motivated ast that time, but she gets up and does it anyway. Why? Because then she's done with it for the day. I hear Dr. Laura talk about working out a lot and the reasons why she works out. She is thin and wants to stay that way. She's strong but it's taken awhile to get there. It's her working out for years that has made her strong today. She also talks about being able to eat the things she wants---even deserts---but she just has a small portion.

For me, I've been working out since I quit drinking, almost 22 years ago. I have to say that I was very motivated in the beginning because I was so pleased to not be a drinker anymore. But as the months, then years passed I wasn't as motivated anymore. But I continued working out because I feel good afterwards. It's not fun to do but I reap the rewards usually later.

So forget being motivated all the time. Do it anyway! You WILL be glad you did.

Memory of My Fat Days

The supervisor in my office brought in donuts last week. She rarely brings in junk food and is good shape herself, but she just said that she felt like a donut that day and brought donuts in for everyone.

I didn't take one, but when I took my break I was feeling really hungry. I went in the breakroom and could smell the sweet smell of glazed donuts. A very vivid memory came back to me. When I was a young teenager my girlfriend and I would be dropped off downtown to "shop." But we were both heavy and all we ever "shopped" for were donuts and candy.

I remember a small donut shop downtown that Sandy and I would get so excited going to. We'd walk in, smell the donut smell then look at all of the donuts available to us. We each pick 3 or 4 donuts---2 to eat there and 1 or 2 to take home. I remember they put the donuts we were to take home in a small white bag.

The thoughts I had at the time were ecstasy on the one hand---I was elated thinking of eating the donuts. But I also felt terrible about myself because I thought at the time I had no self control and that was a terrifying feeling. And the thing is---back then---I really thought I had no control. So I was elated while eating the donuts, but then after we were done the high was immediately gone. Next, we had to figure out the next eating stop.

Back to the breakroom....I was hungry and thought about having maybe a half donut. Then I quickly remembered WHY I don't eat sugar anymore. Because I DON'T FEEL GOOD AFTERWARDS!

I finished my break and had a Larabar (natural organic bar). That hit the spot more than a donut ever could.

Is It All About Willingness?

I ended up watching a PBS special yesterday with Wayne Dyer. Now I had followed him for years, then one day decided he wasn't for me anymore---I had grown in a different direction, or so I thought.

But I started watching and I found that he was saying some great stuff. Apparently Mr. Dyer used to have an alcohol problem so one day he just gave it up---kind of like what I did. But I love what he said after that.....he was WILLING to give up the alcohol that day. He's been sober for over 20 years.

I thought about how many people struggle with their addiction. It's so common to fight with ourselves, trying to convince ourselves to quit, maybe hoping to talk ourselves into quitting. But what if we just gently said to ourselves "I'm ready and willing to quit now?"

Speaking from experience I not only think this would be miraculous for so many people.....but it would work most of the time. I really believe it would.