Blunt Talk About Addictions

Can God Help You Quit Your Addiction?

2010-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

In my book I did mention God several times. I didn't want my book "I Quit!" to be religious, but I wanted it to rather be a spiritual book in a way. I know from my own personal experience that if I didn't give up my addiction by letting each one go, I wouldn't have been as successful as I am.

Oh, I may have been able to quit each addiction, but it wouldn't have been as easy as it is now. I'm not saying I'm special at all, it's just that I took the path of believing God would help me---and He did.

I think I'm going to take a turn with my work and my writing, bringing God more into it, since that's really what helped me to quit my 3 addictions. It's the truth, period.

And it's beautiful to me too....that I didn't do it all on my own......

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It's Easter

2010-04-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

I'm going out to breakfast with my family so I didn't have time to wait for the gym to open today. But I wanted to get in a mile walk in so that I still could exercise today.

As I was walking I was thinking about Easter and what it means. For Christians it's a sacred day, signifying the day Jesus rose from the dead. What is the analogy here regarding addictions?

I think it's that we always have another chance to win. If you fail day after day trying to quit your addiction, you always have tomorrow, and tomorrow could be the day that you quit and your life will forever be changed.

Just my thought on my walk this morning........

Happy Easter...

To Quit Your Addiction You Must Be Relentless

2010-03-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

I was watching a religious program the other morning and the minister was talking about how one must be relentless to have a relationship with God.

I then thought that in order for us to accomplish anything worthwhile in this life, most times we must become relentless. Think about the big things in life---getting a college degree, learning to drive a car, getting your body into the shape you would like it---these things all take being dedicated and relentless.

Addictions are the same way I believe. When you decide to quit your addiction, you may be surprised to find that it's relatively easy.....for a period of time. Then the doubts may come in. Will I be able to quit my entire life? Will I get cravings, and if I do, how will I respond? Will I go back to my addiction?

You must become relentless at this point. It may start by having to talk yourself out of taking that cigarette or drink. Every time you seemingly almost give in, then don't give in you become stronger. Then the times you think of starting your addiction again become less and less.

But until you get to that point, learn to become relentless. In becoming relentless you never have to be addicted again.

Habits and Addiction

2010-02-21T08:49:00.000-08:00

I was driving back from the gym today after having done a few errands afterwards. I got to thinking how "un-fun" working out and doing errands really is. I'd rather putter around at home where it's warm, than be out in the cold (although the weather was in the 50's).

But.....I almost always work out on Sunday mornings. And I usually do some errands after I work out. It's a habit, so I don't have to think about it anymore. If I started wondering.......hmm....do I really need to work out today? Or if I think that I have so much to do that I don't have time to work out......I could get used to not working out.

So I don't ask myself what I feel like. Who cares about what I "feel" like. I know that I always feel better after I work out, my clothes fit better, I'm healthier.

And the good thing about habits---think about this---once you establish a habit, you don't have to do the back and forth thinking about it. The decision has been made! It makes life easier for you. You don't have all that mental anguish thinking of all of the reasons why you should put off quitting your addiction, working out---whatever.

Habits are great!

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-07T10:35:00.000-08:00

The thing about being addicted to drugs, alcohol or binge eating is that it’s not very romantic to anyone else who has any sense in their head. Addicts don’t get many Valentine’s Day cards. If you’re trying to quit, or already have quit, don’t wallow in lost love or all those stupid things that have been done and can’t be undone, even though they make you feel alone this time of year. This year, be your own Valentine.

Plan something that will make you happy on Valentine’s Day. Go see a movie, visit a good friend or sympathetic relative. Splurge a little on a gift or a special meal.
Spend the exact amount of money you would have spent on a drink, a pack of cigarettes or a super-size box of Oreo cookies. Put a red bow on your little splurge. Write a note in red ink that says, Happy Valentine’s Day to Me, sign it, seal it up in an envelope and open it on Valentine’s Day. (I know it may sound corny, but it won't if you do it!)

Studies show that people stress over holidays because of the money involved or because it puts them in situations they can’t control -- like being forced to spend time with negative people. Don’t do it. Don’t spend money if you don’t have it. Don’t make any plans involving people who are negative, or who will indulge in those same addictions you don’t want to be anywhere around. Don’t get stressed.

Happy Valentine's Day....

Do You Have to Know Why You're Addicted?

2010-01-31T08:28:00.000-08:00

For years when I was drinking I thought that the only way I could ever quit was to figure out why I was drinking. I read books, watched tv talk shows like Phil Donahue (he had psychologists and the like on a lot) and read magazine articles trying to figure it out. I never really found out, and I haven't had a drink in almost 22 years.

On the day that I quit drinking it hit me like a ton of bricks---I didn't need to know why I drank, just so that I was done with drinking. I may figure it out down the road, and I may not. I saw clearly on that day that the most important thing I could do was to quit drinking. Then it didn't really matter in the long run why I drank because drinking wasn't going to be an issue for me anymore anyway.

I think that most people think like I did initially---that you have to find out why you are addicted, then when you do it will magically fall away on its own. It doesn't work that way.

But the good news is, you don't need to know why you're addicted. You just need to quit.

If You Fail, Get Up and Do It Again

2010-01-24T08:39:00.001-08:00

I have a friend whose husband was in the Vietman war. He lost friends in the war and has survivor's guilt. So he drinks because of his guilt for having survived.

A few months ago this man called me up (because he knew that I'd quit drinking) and said he was really ready to quit drinking. He said he was tired of drinking and being hungover, but more than that, he was afraid of losing his wife of about 28 years because she'd been telling him that she couldn't take his drinking anymore.

He asked if I'd stay in touch with him because it would help him. He went to an outpatient facility in town. He seemed to be doing well for awhile, then his wife cought him in lies about drinking. Then she found out that yes, he had been drinking.

I told my friend that even though he's drinking again, there's always tomorrow and that one of these days could be the day that sobriety sticks.

Everyone who has quit an addiction has "their day." So until that day comes, my friend's husband has to just get up every day and try again.

If You Fall, Get Up and Do It Again

2010-01-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

I have a friend whose husband has been an alcoholic for years. He was in the Vietnam war---many of his friends died in the war and he was lucky enough to have survived. He has survivor's guilt.....and he drinks a lot.

A few months ago he called me to tell me that he was going to quit drinking. He said he was tired of it and he especially didn't want to lose his wife, which he thought he would if he didn't quit. He knew my story of how I quit and he asked me to keep in touch with him. I was more than glad to.

I talked to him several times and gave him a little inspiration and truth. I told him that if he were to quit drinking he would have to change his routines. In the morning instead of waking up with a hangover (he said he had many hangovers), he might choose to go get a cup of coffee and go to the beach and watch the sunrise. He seemed to like the idea and said he would do that.

He went into an outpatient treatment center for a few weeks.

I found out recently that he's gone back to drinking. I keep in touch with his wife and said that there's always tomorrow to have that possibility for her husband to quit for good. I've seen that happen all the time.

So there's always hope, isn't there? So if you fall you just have to get up and do it again.

Quitting an Addiction Could Be ........Easy?

2010-01-10T08:58:00.000-08:00

If I'd heard someone say that to me years ago I would have argued. No, it's difficult. You have to have a desire to quit, you have to go to self-help groups and pour your heart out.....THEN you have to go to these groups all the time. Then you end up thinking about your addiction every day and talking to people about it. You find yourself reading articles about people just like yourself who are addicted. These people are just like you and you feel an affinity with them.

But then after a few months it starts getting old---going to the meetings, seeing the same people sharing the same stories---you think about your addiction again. The newness is gone. You think about going back to your addiction out of boredom.

What if it were possible to just say, "ENOUGH! I don't want to be addicted anymore!" And what if it took? It happens all the time.

Isn't this LESS difficult than the previous? Not that meetings are bad---they're not, but they're not for everybody. Personally, meetings wouldn't have helped me. But think about the possibility.....of just quitting to get on with your life......putting down forever whatever your addiction is and walking away. Done, never to have that addictions again.

It happens to people all the time, just remember this..

It's a New Year

2010-01-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

I heard it said once that, on the average, people put on 7 pounds during the holiday season. Well, the season's over now and there's something about turning that calendar over to a new month AND new year that let's us believe that we have another chance. I still feel that regarding certain aspects of my life.

There's nothing that a diet will do, AA can do for you or "trying to quit smoking" if YOU don't do the work to overcome the addiction. But that's ok, because the good news is that you CAN do it if you really, really want to. Think about it. Isn't that true? Can't you do just about anything you can think of?

Of course you can. Meditate on this concept. See the reality of it. Then do it...

Don't Let Upcoming Holidays Trigger Past Addictions

2009-12-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

Here's an article I wrote a year ago, and since it's Christmas time, I thought I'd publish it again today on my blog. Merry Christmas everyone.....

Holiday temptations to over-eat or drink too much can trigger a return to past addictions. For those who have stuck to their diets, or quit drinking or smoking, avoiding temptations can be especially tough with the extra stress created by this year's battered economy.

Right now, before the holidays are in full swing, is when you can call on the same inner resolve that led you to quit your past addictions in the first place. You can vow right now to be pro-active, and you'll be better prepared to resist holiday temptations and stress. On top of traditional temptations of holidays and social obligations, this year's holidays might prove even more stressful because of the dire state of the economy. A new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll reports that 75 percent of people surveyed said they are suffering high stress because of the economy. Here are five common sense tips to avoid letting the holidays or a bad economy undermine your addiction-free lifestyle:

Avoid friends and acquaintances who are not supportive of your resolve to stay free of past addictions. Even when you can't avoid holiday occasions involving non-supportive family members, minimize your time spent with them or insist on bringing along a supportive friend or relative.
Avoid environments that might tempt you to return to your past bad habits. If you have stopped drinking, don't go to holiday parties at bars or even homes where alcohol will be a major focus. Politely decline. Your health and lifestyle are more important than social obligations.
Take a stress-busting walk. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress. Every time you feel internal worries building up, take an energizing walk through the woods, at the beach, or even around the block outside your office. If you can't outside to take a walk, practice deep breathing exercises to calm you.
Start a new hobby. Instead of worrying about past bad habits, begin a new good habit. Find a hobby that interests you, and one that is fun, too.

Join a group. When you were addicted, life was all about you. Getting involved with other people who are doing something positive will stop you from focusing too much on yourself. Join a social group, enroll in a class or become a volunteer in your community. Volunteers are critically needed in a struggling economy, and especially before and during the holiday season

.

Just An Observation

2009-12-13T10:41:00.001-08:00

I went to lunch with my mother yesterday like I always do on Saturday afternoons. We started this ritual after her husband died 5 years ago. She said she really enjoys it, and it's good to catch up on things with mom.

Yesterday I noticed a couple I recognized from high school years ago, sitting at the next table. I didn't know them, but I new they'd been married for about 25 years. The man was tall and thin, and his wife was I would guess, 75 pounds overweight. I remembered her in high school---thin, popular, outgoing---and now she was fat. She still had a pretty face.

I just observed them, wondering what the woman, now heavy, was probably thinking on a regular basis. I would guess thoughts like "why can't I be thin like I used to be" or "will I always be fat?" Or maybe she wasn't thinking any of those questions. Maybe she's come to terms with being fat.

Just an observation while I was having lunch.

Is Today the Day You Quit Your Addiction?

2009-12-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

Driving to the gym this morning and seemingly out of nowhere I thought of how possible it is for anyone suffering from addiction to quit today. Think about it. Let's say you've been an alcoholic for years, you've quit and gone back to it several times. You've lost confidence in yourself to the point where you never think you can quit. You're depressed and think it will never happen for you.

Then turn that thought process around. (Let's use that same example) You're hungover today, you have your coffee to wake up, you sit there thinking about the possibility of never drinking again, although it's hard to imagine that because you've failed so many times when trying to quit.

But today is different. Your mind opens up for the first time to the reality that it IS possible to quit. Oh my God! You see that it's doable. You make plans for your future because you've decided drinking was a thing of the past. You realize that you are in charge of your life and if you say you want to put down that drink forever, you can. You also decide you won't let any thoughts of alcohol and wanting alcohol ever again to occupy your thoughts. You're giving it up right there--in your room today---drinking your coffee.

Does it seem like a possible scenario? That's exactly how it happened for me over 22years ago, the day I gave up alcohol and I never looked back.

You Don't Have to Do It Alone

2009-11-29T08:51:00.000-08:00

Not everyone can just say “I quit!,” and then do it. Some five million people participate in self-help groups each year to get help quitting their addictions to alcohol or drugs. That’s according to the federal Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which goes by the acronym SAMHSA (pronounced SAM-SAH). Is a self-help group for you?

According to SAMHSA’s latest report this year, 2.3 million people who said they participated in self-help groups for drinking or drug use also said they had not used alcohol or illegal drugs for the previous month. This is based on the government agency’s survey each year since 2006.

What that means to me is that self-help groups aren’t the only answer. But they can help. You’ve got to be willing to say, ‘I quit!,” and mean it. I hit rock bottom plenty of times before I quit my three addictions to alcohol, cigarettes and overeating. Do whatever it takes to quit. If you’ve tried to quit and haven’t done it, get on the phone and call a self-help group. Nobody says you have to go it alone!

If you want to do more homework on people who chose self-help groups, or if you’re trying to convince an addicted friend or family member to sign up, here are two ways to get copies of the full report on the self-help study.

You can get the report at this Web site: http://oas.samhsa.gov/2k8/selfHelp/selfHelp.cfm. Or you can call the federal agency for your free copy at 1-877-726-4727. Ask for the report by its inventory number, which is SMA 08-4333.

Write to me at LindaJoyAllan@aol.com if it works for you!
The bottom line is: do something!

Why Quit Your Addiction?

2009-11-15T11:14:00.000-08:00

Here Are A Few Reasons to Quit Your Addiction:

1) You'll just feel better overall---mentally and physically. I remember thinking about quitting smoking for years. Actually, it was difficult for me to truly contemplate quitting smoking because it scared me so much. How would I live without my cigarettes? I never thought I'd quit altogether. But I feel so good becuase I don't have breathing problems anymore and I know that I did something, well, HUGE!

2) You'll absolutely save money. I know that some people lose everything to support their addiction but for some people, especially in these times, it's important to save money. I wouldn't let money be the only criterion for quitting your addiction because when money is plentiful again you may go back. Just my thought on that.

3) Don't forget that we only live one time on this planet. You may have been run by your addiction for years. Sometimes when I have a decision to make I think of the words (Linda, you only live once) and it's much easier for me to make the right decision.

4) If you quit your addiction you will know you can trust yourself, which is HUGE! If you have a few things you've done and you see you can count on yourself to follow through, you will be more apt to make decisions about your life because you kow what you say...you will do.

You Gotta Have Conviction to Quit

2009-11-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

I'm a big believer that when someone says they're going to do something, they do it. If you tell yourself you're going to do something do you follow through and do it? Or do you usually come up with excuses as to why you can't do it now or the circumstances are such that you can't finish now so you'll put it off...blah, blah, blah.....

I look around and I hate to say it but it seems that we just think we can do something if it's not difficult. Like quitting an addiction. We say we'd like to quit....but it will be too hard! It might be difficult but that doesn't mean you can't do it. Think about that. Instead of these words being depressing for you, let them be uplifting. YOU CAN QUIT YOUR ADDICTION.

Doesn't it feel good to hear the truth? Because you really CAN quit. It's all in the mind, really..

Sticking to Your Goals, No Matter How You Feel

2009-11-01T11:13:00.001-08:00

I know I write about this a lot, but I think it's what makes or breaks goals.

If you have a goal---say losing weight---and you wake up on day 1 raring to go, you may even have gotten up early before work to work out. Good, you did it!

Then you wake up the next day and.......well you don't feel like working out so much. You start coming up with reasons to put working out off---I'm tired, I don't feel like working out, I need more sleep (that COULD be a good one actually), I'll work out tomorrow instead. Whatever reason, you have many. Result? You don't work out. One of your reasons won.

I know what a trap this is because I used to do it too. But then I started putting less emphasis on my reasons as to why I couldn't work out or eat the way I knew I needed to in order to lose weight, and just started exercising and eating right because I TOLD MYSELF THAT WAS MY GOAL. What was the outcome? I started losing weight, getting fit and not thinking about food all the time.

It really will save you a lot of time too, not having to think about whether or not you'll go to the gym, eat right, not drink, not smoke---whatever your addiction my be. If you decide your plan ahead of time and follow it several times, then you get used to counting on yourself and every day will be easier and easier.

It's true, try it.

My Book Was On Dr. Laura's Book Giveaway

2009-10-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

I was ecstatic to learn last week that my book "I Quit!" would be featured on Dr. Laura's Book Giveaway. I was delighted a few years ago when she endorsed my book too.

I thought I'd listen to the segment at work with my co-workers, but decided to go home to listen by myself, and to tape it. I knew exactly what time it would be on, since I'm a regular listener to the show.

I put the tape in, and pressed "record" @ 4:05 pm. Dr. Laura first read a few pages of my book---the chapter where I told my dad and his wife that I was going to kill myself because I was upset with them over a money issue. Then she talked a little about my book.

That morning I looked at a picture of my dad (who died 3 years ago) and said "Dad, I hope you can hear Dr. Laura today because you had so much to do with me getting to this place." I thought it was a bit "interesting" that she read that part of the book, mentioning my father. Coincidence? Who knows?

But it sure was cool to hear Dr. Laura talking about my book. I'm so grateful to her.

I Was a Guest on An Internet Radio Show

2009-10-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was on Blogtalkradio a few days ago and the host was Jackie Foreman. She was fun, had a great personality and was a darn good interviewer.

She asked me questions about my book "I Quit!" One of the questions someone had emailed in was that this person ate a huge ice cream treat every day and how could I help this person.

The first thing I said was "there's no magic here." Then I went on to say that if it were me, I'd tell myself only 1/2 of the treat today---and all week. I would need to prove to myself that when I tell myself what I'm going to eat, I mean it.

Then I would know I could count on myself. The next week I would maybe eat 1/4 of the treat, then give it up. If the goal is to lose weight, then the ice cream probably has to go for now.

Another question was about excercise and how important I thought exercise was to losing weight. My answer was that it's important but in my personal opinion it's more important what you eat. Exercise helps a bit to lose weight, but the food is more important. What exercise does is it makes you feel better and you feel happier in your life.

That was one of the most fun interviews I've had.

A Fat Man's Words

2009-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

I was watching something on tv---a show about addictions.

The fat man was asked to really think deeply about why he is heavy and share the reasons:

1) Uses food to treat everything. Food is his friend.

2) Always thinking "what are people thinking about me. I don't deserve to eat."

3) When I eat each bite, I block out all thoughts---all I think of is the next bite.

4) It feels bad afterwards, but when eating the food, it just feels great.

He then broke down and cried. Saying the words got to him because he never spoke those words. He felt he could start losing weight now.

I looked in his eyes and agreed that he probably will tackle his problem now. Sometimes getting those deep, dark thoughts we have out in the open---thoughts we may not even be aware of---opens the door to begin facing reality and dealing with what needs to be dealt with.

I Love Being Straight

2009-09-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

I just spoke with my friend. She and her husband are going through difficult times and are separated. They had their last therapy session yesterday and it looks like---for now anyway---that they will continue staying apart.

My friend called me up crying which is highly unusual. The day just took a toll on her. After we hung up she had 2 glasses of wine and a vicadin. We talked today...she called up her husband and just didn't care what she said to him. She said things she couldn't say, or wouldn't say when she's straight. She even called someone she briefly dated several months ago and spoke for an hour.

I remember doing these sorts of things when I drank. It WAS easier to pick up the phone and tell someone what was truly on my mind when I was drinking. It DID make me bolder.

Boy, am I glad I'm straight all the time now......

Does God Play a Part in Quitting Your Addiction?

2009-09-20T09:29:00.001-07:00

I was sort of taunted by something I'd written---I wrote that I believed God was instrumental in my quitting my 3 addictions. I wrote that I will believe until the day I die that I didn't do something that HUGE by myself.

Well someone wrote saying that so many "spiritual people" say that the only way to quit their addictions is with God. And what about the people (like himself) who don't believe in God?

I wrote back saying that my story is that I quit 3 addictions and I believe very strongly that God's hand was in it. I was a very weak woman when I was drinking for those 12 years. On the morning I quit drinking forever I was hungover and couldn't think straight, yet that was a morning I'll never forget---many insights came to me in my condition that day and I'll never forget them.

And with my weight: Calling out to God when I was 16 saying if there was a God I needed His help because I couldn't stop eating. I never ate uncontrollably since that night.

I told the man who wrote me that I was just sharing my story with him and that it wouldn't be HIS story. We'll all have our own unique stories to tell as to how we quit our addictions.

And I had my own unique one......and I love my story....

Will You Give Up Your Addiction?

2009-09-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a radio show (Dr. Laura) and a woman called in saying she was 50 years old and didn't take good care of herself, although she'd quit drinking 15 years ago. She said she still smoked a lot and had some weight to lose, but it was too difficult to stop her addictions. She could do it for awhile, then "she couldn't."

Dr. Laura said that she would have to decide to want the healthy body over her addictions. The woman said that she did. Dr. Laura immediately came back at her with the truth---"No, you don't. You want the immediate satisfaction a cigarette gives you, rather than the long term effects of quitting your addictions."

Dr. Laura suggested she put a picture of herself when she was healthy out where she could see it all the time. She also suggested to this woman that she speaks out loud what her intentions are because we are easily manipulated when we just think about what we want to do.

But if we say it out loud.......I DON'T WANT THAT CIGARETTE! I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND WILL HAVE AN APPLE INSTEAD." Then go get an apple. Do this many times and it will be easier to not give into your addiction.

I love this idea and think it will help a lot....

What If I Took A Drink After Quitting 22 Years Ago?

2009-09-06T08:43:00.000-07:00

I got asked that twice this week. So I answered truthfully.

If I were to take a drink after not having one drink in 22 years I know I could probably have one drink and stop for a day. But I don't want to drink, I told both of them.

BUT...IF I took one drink the next day, I have no idea how that day would end, because I think I'm an alcoholic (even though I don't ever say those words---I just don't drink and say I'm a non-drinker).

I think the more important thought is that I don't want to drink anymore. So contemplating whether or not what would happen to me if I drank again, really doesn't matter. The fact is, I'm done with drinking.

I also said to both of the people asking me this question (one was on a radio interview) is that I wouldn't want to take the chance of stepping into that world again---the world of alcoholism----because it ran my life pretty much for 12 years.

So getting on with my life without alcohol is where I choose to live. I have a good life without alcohol. And the good news is that I never think of alcohol anymore, and I haven't in years. I'm totally free of it.....thank God!

Are You Run By Your Addiction?

2009-08-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

I was talking to someone @ work the other day who seems to be able to say "no" fairly easily to what he didn't want in his life. Donald had been drinking several sodas each day and decided a few months ago that he'd cut them out completely---and he did.

But last week he picked up a soda and drank it. After he drank it he decided he was going to stop because he didn't want to be run by anything. And he said it would be easy for him to stop now becuase of the reality he had of not wanting his life to be run by anything.

I could relate with Donald because when I gave up each addiction I was very aware how much each addiction had been running my life, and I wanted to be in charge of my life, not the addiction.

Donald also said something to the affect of "just say no."...and how easy that really was. I agreed, but did say to him that so many people find it the most difficult thing to say. "Just say no" to many people is.....well it's just too easy and won't work.

The key here is---and what I believe---is that it IS that easy many time. Just say no and get on with your life.

Are you run by your addiction? Could "just say no" possibly work for you? Just maybe?

Try it.....I'd love to hear what results you have....

Why Is It So Hard to Quit My Addiction?

2009-08-23T09:30:00.001-07:00

Is this a question you ask yourself a lot? Why can't it just be easy like so many other things I do in my life?

I remember those thoughts too, especially with my weight issue years ago. I couldn't understand how I seemed to be almost overtaken by my thoughts to where I believed I didn't have any say as to whether or not I picked up a Twinkie or candy bar. I really believed I couldn't stop myself from eating that junk.

But looking back I see that I didn't have the will to say "No!" then. I was a kid. I didn't know that I had the ability to run my life. You get wiser with age, they say, and that's a good example of it.

So what is the message here? I think it's that you have to realize that the mind will do what the mind does---go all over the place---telling you you can or can't do things. It's up to you, not your mind, how your life turns out.

So I urge you to watch your thoughts regarding addiction and see what your mind is telling you (lots of lies I would imagine), and start to realize that you don't have to listen to your mind.

You do have control over your life. And the more you start taking control, the easier it will be.

Could It Be Easy Quitting Your Addiction Afterall?

2009-08-16T08:46:00.000-07:00

If I'd heard someone ask me that years ago I would have said no, of course it's difficult. You have to have a desire to quit, you have to go to self-help groups and pour your heart out.....THEN you have to go to these groups all the time. Then you end up thinking about your addiction every day and talking to people about it. You find yourself reading articles about people just like yourself who are addicted. These people are just like you and you feel an affinity with them.

But then after a few months it starts getting old---going to the meetings, seeing the same people sharing the same stories---you think about your addiction again. The newness is gone. You think about going back to your addiction out of boredom.

What if it were possible to just say, "ENOUGH! I don't want to be addicted anymore!" And what if it took? It happens all the time.

Isn't this LESS difficult than the previous? Not that meetings are bad---they're not, but they're not for everybody. Personally, meetings wouldn't have helped me. But think about the possibility.....of just quitting to get on with your life......

I Had a Great Radio Interview

2009-08-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

I was on Blogtalkradio with Don L. Price last week. Don has a very nice, soothing voice which helped keep me very comfortable throughout the interview. We talked about my 3 addictions and how I overcame each one. He also wondered if I agreed that the addiction is always just the symptom of the problem, not the problem.

Yes, I agreed, because that is so true, isn't it? If you lose 100 pounds and your mind doesn't shift at all, you'll surely gain the weight back. It happens all the time. For me personally, the shift happened that night when I cried out to God---if You're there, I need you because I can't stop eating.

A shift happened that night. I never ate non-stop again in my life! What a healing that was, but I still had to deal with the losing weight, which took years. But the eating-until-I-can't-eat-anymore problem left that night. I'll never forget it. And I never get tired of sharing that story.

If anyone wants to listen to my interview go to my website http://www.DovelinPublishing.com
and look under "Press". You'll see the Blogtalkradio widget, click on it and listen. If you have any comments or questions please let me know on this blogsite or email me @ lindajoyallan@aol.com.

I Watched an Overweight Woman Crossing the Street...

2009-08-02T08:47:00.001-07:00

last week on my way to work. It seemed she was carrying some sort of a coffee cake, wrapped in saran wrap, along with a back-pack. She must have been at least 100 pounds overweight. It was a struggle for her to even walk. I sat there at the light wondering what thoughts might be going around in her head.

I felt compassion for this woman. I don't know if she's given up on herself, or maybe the cake she was holding wasn't for her at all! For all I know she could be giving the cake to someone because she's decided to lose her weight this time for good.

So we don't know what people are thinking. I do know she didn't look happy, but how can you when you're carrying around so much extra weight. Sometimes when I bring in my grocery bags which must weigh at least 10-15 pounds, I'm very aware of how that weight would make my life so difficult if it was on me---if I had to lug around an extra 50 pounds (I did years ago) every day.

The memories started to come back to me of me being fat while watching this woman for the 20 seconds I watched her (she didn't see me watching her). I'm just so grateful that I dropped those pounds and can feel a lightness about me all the time. It definitely makes a difference in the way I perceive everything in my life. I've written may times over the years of this fact: I couldn't be happy and joyful if I were still fat. I personally couldn't. But the good news is for overweight people is that they can lose weight, but it takes dedication and committment.

One little shift in someone's mind who is overweight can start the process of losing weight immediately. It happened to me, and I've seen it happen to many over the years.

That's good news....

Why Can't You Just Quit Your Addiction?

2009-07-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

Blunt enough? Well, my blog is titled "Blunt Talk About Addictions."

I know I will get flack from people reading this. For some people---many people---it may not be easy enough to quit their addiction, but we only live once on this earth I hear and time is being wasted.

If you're reading this and you say you want to quit your addiction, and you've tried several times and "it doesn't work" think about the fact that you've "tried" many times. Trying leaves room for failure. You try once, consider that it didn't work and you can say..."hey, I tried."

Stop playing that game and get real with your life. When you get rid of your addiction, that stress is forever lifted. You feel lighter. You know you did something huge for yourself and you'll never forget that.

Think---this is my one life. Drop the addiction. Can it be that easy? Why not?

Dr. Phil's Thoughts on Addiction

2009-07-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

I was sick several days last week and got to just veg out in front of the tv for hours every day. I was channel surfing and came across Dr. Phil's program. I don't see it very much anymore, but when I saw that the show was on addictions I had to tape it. I always learn from listening to people's struggles with addiction and I remember when I was deep in my addictions too.

One of the addicted individuals on the show was a man who couldn't stop spending money he didn't have. Dr. Phil wanted to start getting to the root of the problem. Dr. Phil said:

"Addictions serve a purpose;
Addictions serve a need;
They don't meet the need,
They don't serve the need,
They just hold it off and push it down."

Then Dr. Phil asked the man---"What are you running from? You're using your addictions to avoid getting real about some things. What are they?"

What a great, direct question. Dr. Phil asked the best question to get to the root of the problem. This man had just thought he had a money problem, when in fact, it was that he didn't feel good about his weight and he didn't feel like he was much of a man. So THOSE were the reasons why he was addicted to spending money, not for the sake of just spending money.

I, too, know from my experiences being addicted...it was never about the alcohol, food or cigarettes...it's always something much deeper.

But the good news is, you can quit your addiction no matter what your problems are. You can get stuck in your problems and blame your addictions on your problems, or just decide that you're going to quit your addictions and move on.

I would always choose the latter.....

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

2009-07-12T08:45:00.001-07:00

I was listening to Joel Osteen this morning and he talked about how so many times we constantly say negative things, and those negative words dictate our lives. He gave the example of "I've had this addiction all my life....I'm never going to be able to quit."

I used to think that years ago when I was fat, when I smoked cigarettes and when I drank. But I quit all 3. What you've done in the past and the thoughts you've thought for years can change forever---and in an instant. How do I know? Because it happened to me.

And looking back I remember that on those 3 days which started my quitting each addiction, my mind changed dramatically. I wasn't negative anymore. I was open to change---I wanted my life to change. I didn't want to be addicted anymore. It was weighing my life down. I wanted freedom.

And I got it....

22 Years Ago I Quit Drinking

2009-07-05T09:32:00.000-07:00

This past Friday, July 3, was my 22nd year of quitting drinking. It's also my real birthday, so every year I have 2 birthdays.

I don't think much about my past drinking. I'm just so grateful that I gave it up when I did. I went on to finish college and got a B.S. in Management, I lost the rest of the weight I wanted to lose and I have my connection back with God. That was what I missed the most when I drank for those 12 years---the closeness with God that I put on the back burner during my "drinking years."

Life is still full of challenges---daily. But I never think of drinking again. That would only ADD to my problems. It's a wonderful thing, too, that when you give up a habit you've had for awhile, you realize as the days go on that you're thinking less and less about the addiction you may have once thought you'd NEVER forget. But it does lessen daily. You need to remember that.

I was also addicted to cigarettes and junk food, but those too are long gone---the thoughts about them.

So I hope someone can get help from this post today, especially if you're struggling to quit an addiction. You won't always think about it forever like you think now. You won't. It will fade as you fill your life with other things and distractions.

Not Ready to Quit Yet?

2009-06-28T08:49:00.001-07:00

I have a friend whose husband is an alcoholic. She told me recently her husband was hoping to speak with me about alcohol, knowing I'd been off alcohol for almost 22 years. I said yes, and he called a few days later.

We talked for about 15 minutes. He said he always had several drinks when he got home from work at night, and said he was afraid that he would miss it terribly. I told him he might in the beginning but that it was important to---right away, day 1---start doing things differently. Come home and immediately take a walk or get on the treadmill. I told him that I thought doing something physical was important.

Before we hung up he asked me if he could call again soon and talk to me. I said yes. A few days later his wife emailed me and said that her husband was drinking and it looked as if he wasn't going to give up alcohol just yet.

I explained that this is typical---someone will reach out, then go back to the addiction. Again, they will reach out to someone who can help them, get some good information on how to help quit the addiction, then go back to the addiction. But many times the 3rd or 4th time is "the time" when he or she absolutely quits for good.

It's just not his time yet. Is it yours?

What? You're Not Motivated?

2009-06-21T08:29:00.000-07:00

I was listening to Dr. Laura recently. A caller called into the show stating that she was fat (the caller). She didn't like it and she knew how to eat and she had the gym membership but didn't go to the gym. She called in to ask Dr. Laura how to get motivated so she'd want to eath healthy foods and go to the gym.

Dr. Laura told her story to the caller---she gets up early in the morning to work out and isn't necessarily motivated at 5:00 am---in fact, she said she WASN'T motivated ast that time, but she gets up and does it anyway. Why? Because then she's done with it for the day. I hear Dr. Laura talk about working out a lot and the reasons why she works out. She is thin and wants to stay that way. She's strong but it's taken awhile to get there. It's her working out for years that has made her strong today. She also talks about being able to eat the things she wants---even deserts---but she just has a small portion.

For me, I've been working out since I quit drinking, almost 22 years ago. I have to say that I was very motivated in the beginning because I was so pleased to not be a drinker anymore. But as the months, then years passed I wasn't as motivated anymore. But I continued working out because I feel good afterwards. It's not fun to do but I reap the rewards usually later.

So forget being motivated all the time. Do it anyway! You WILL be glad you did.

Memory of My Fat Days

2009-06-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

The supervisor in my office brought in donuts last week. She rarely brings in junk food and is good shape herself, but she just said that she felt like a donut that day and brought donuts in for everyone.

I didn't take one, but when I took my break I was feeling really hungry. I went in the breakroom and could smell the sweet smell of glazed donuts. A very vivid memory came back to me. When I was a young teenager my girlfriend and I would be dropped off downtown to "shop." But we were both heavy and all we ever "shopped" for were donuts and candy.

I remember a small donut shop downtown that Sandy and I would get so excited going to. We'd walk in, smell the donut smell then look at all of the donuts available to us. We each pick 3 or 4 donuts---2 to eat there and 1 or 2 to take home. I remember they put the donuts we were to take home in a small white bag.

The thoughts I had at the time were ecstasy on the one hand---I was elated thinking of eating the donuts. But I also felt terrible about myself because I thought at the time I had no self control and that was a terrifying feeling. And the thing is---back then---I really thought I had no control. So I was elated while eating the donuts, but then after we were done the high was immediately gone. Next, we had to figure out the next eating stop.

Back to the breakroom....I was hungry and thought about having maybe a half donut. Then I quickly remembered WHY I don't eat sugar anymore. Because I DON'T FEEL GOOD AFTERWARDS!

I finished my break and had a Larabar (natural organic bar). That hit the spot more than a donut ever could.

Is It All About Willingness?

2009-06-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

I ended up watching a PBS special yesterday with Wayne Dyer. Now I had followed him for years, then one day decided he wasn't for me anymore---I had grown in a different direction, or so I thought.

But I started watching and I found that he was saying some great stuff. Apparently Mr. Dyer used to have an alcohol problem so one day he just gave it up---kind of like what I did. But I love what he said after that.....he was WILLING to give up the alcohol that day. He's been sober for over 20 years.

I thought about how many people struggle with their addiction. It's so common to fight with ourselves, trying to convince ourselves to quit, maybe hoping to talk ourselves into quitting. But what if we just gently said to ourselves "I'm ready and willing to quit now?"

Speaking from experience I not only think this would be miraculous for so many people.....but it would work most of the time. I really believe it would.

Candy Won’t Fix Your Bank Account

2009-05-31T08:47:00.000-07:00

The recent headline in the New York Times was: “When Economy Sours, Tootsie Rolls Soothe Souls.” When the economy goes down, candy sales go up, the newspaper reported. “Sugar is comforting,” one candy buyer told the newspaper.

Candy sales are up 30 percent for Cadbury and more than 10 percent for Nestle's. That’s great news if you’re a candy company, but just another lousy excuse to overeat if you’re a food junkie.

I was addicted to overeating and weighed in at more than 200 pounds. Was a recession my excuse? I didn’t need an excuse. I ate when I was broke, when I had money in the bank, when I was sad and when I was happy.

Candy? I loved the stuff. But here’s what happened. I made the decision that I wanted to lose weight. If you think you’re addicted to overeating, your mirror is your proof.

I threw away the candy with the candy bar wrappers and stopped eating a lot of other unhealthy foods, too. Now I’m no longer fat, and I love it. I’m not afraid of looking in mirrors, and I don’t think up dumb excuses to start overeating again. I quit. You can, too.

Are you a former fatty? Share your story by responding to this blog.

Good Intentions Are Not Enough

2009-05-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

I was talking to someone the other day about their struggle with losing weight. She told me that every day she gets up she intends to eat a certain way, but when she goes to work there are donuts and she "has" to have one. If there is candy on someone's desk, she has to take a small handful. It's just too difficult for her to pass that bowl.....or donut.

Good intentions are wonderful but look at the reality of the situation. You are in charge of whether of not you take the donut or candy. It seems so many times that people don't take any responsibility for eating the crap. But it IS your responsibility.

I remember doing these things too. It was almost as if I had the diet plan in place, then I hoped something wouldn't sabatage my day---like someone offering me cookies---because if they did, it wasn't my fault and I would eat them.

Responsibility! That's the key to quitting your addiction. And the thing is, when you take responsibility and pass the donut, candy, cookies---whatever, you will become stronger and your goal is within reach. You are running your own show!

Good intentions are not enough.

Are You Willing to be Uncomfortable?

2009-05-17T09:38:00.000-07:00

I was at the gym today listening to a great, uplifting tape I had downloaded on my ipod about how anyone can change their life and become who they want to be. The person running the teleseminar was saying you have to be able to get out of your comfort zone in order to move to the next level. I got that right away. And I know she's right.

She went on to say that she thought it would be good for everyone to write down on a piece of paper 5 situations in their life where you achieved something great. After a few moments (since I was at the gym I thought of a few things) she said "didn't each one of the things you listed require you to get out of your comfort zone?" Yes, each one did.

If you don't learn to be uncomfortable you won't be able to accomplish the big things in life. If you're reading my blog I think you are probably dealing with an addiction. I think in knowing you MUST be uncomfortable at times will give you a freedom now. In the past you may have thought that something was WRONG because you were uncomfortable. Now you can consider that it isn't just normal, it's necessary in order to take that leap and do the thing you need to do.

What It Means to Be Done With Addiction

2009-05-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

Santa Barbara is going through a horrific fire right now, although it appears at this time things are getting better. The fire has burned approximately 80 homes. It was over 5 miles long. I was evacuated for 2 days. I never went through that before. I was outside talking with my neighbors around 9:30 on Thursday night and the police with their bullhorn went through telling everyone to get out immediately. I went to my mother's house, but she was in a fire warning area so we could have been evacuated from her house as well.

I didn't think about it until this morning, but years ago (when I was drinking) the fire would have given me one of the BEST reasons to drink. No one could say anything to me because I "had a reason to drink."

But I'm so far past drinking now, knowing I'll never drink again because I really don't want to, so I never even entertained those old thoughts.

I had a boyfriend at the time I quit drinking and he said "once you quit drinking, you quit no matter what."

He was right.

You Smokers Can't Escape the Stench

2009-04-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

The thing about smokers is that they stink up other people’s clothes, offices, furniture, cars and lives long after they put out that cigarette. The awful smell can be there long after you leave the building or even move to another city.

If you’re a smoker, have you ever been surprised after chewing breath mints and spraying a room (or your clothes and hair) with air fresheners when non-smokers still complain?

I’m a former smoker, and I never knew how bad I smelled until I quit and got some of my sense of smell back. Then it was my turn to be disgusted at myself.

Here’s why breath mints, smoking outside or spraying everything with air fresheners will never cover up the fact that you just can’t hide the stench.

If you’re a smoker, you can’t smell what is making others want to retch. Here’s why.

A recent study on the link between smoking and the loss of smell found that current and even former smokers found it difficult to smell butanol. That’s a substance used in odor testing because of its distinct and overwhelming smell. No wonder you can’t smell the stench you leave behind.

If you want more proof, just go to the Internet, and type “smoking smells” or “getting rid of smoke smell” in a search engine.

You’ll see loads of articles from non-smokers asking how to get rid of the smell of smoke from furniture smokers once owned, or cars they once owned, or clothes they once owned.

The smoker’s not around, but the smell still is. In some cases, the advice is just to throw out the smelly item because it’s so hard to get rid of that stench.

So, you might as well toss out those breath mints and air fresheners. You might fool yourself, but you’re not fooling anyone else.

Stop fooling yourself. Quit. I did. You can, too!

Don't Be a Fast Food Junkie

2009-04-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Here’s another reason to stop being a fast food junkie. There’s way too much salt in all that fast food.

According to a new report from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, better known as the CDC, about 70 percent of American adults would benefit from a low-sodium diet.

But even though we should be getting about 1,500 milligrams of salt, the report says many of us are gobbling up 3,500 milligrams of salt. Too much salt can equal high blood pressure and heart problems.

So where’s all that extra salt coming from? According to the CDC, most of it’s coming from processed and fast foods – the same stuff that can make you fat. Take it from a former fatty! I once weighed more than 200 pounds, and fast food was a great way to feed my addiction!

So read the labels on your food. Stay away from fast food, period! If you fall off the wagon, just don’t do it again.

You, and only you, have a say about what goes in your mouth. But everybody else will know if you’re putting all the wrong things in your mouth, because you will look so unhealthy (and fat!).

I broke my addiction to overeating, and you can, too.

I Saw Another "Intervention" Show Last Night

2009-04-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

I tape the show every so often to remind myself about the struggle of addiction. I certainly had an alcohol addiction for 12 years and my life revolved around it.

On this particular episode, it was about a woman Donna who was married and had 3 children. She didn't drink much until a few years after the last child was born, then she became an acoholic very quickly it seemed. We, the viewers, didn't get to see Donna without being drunk until the very end.

She would fall down, curse, say "I want to die" and swear constantly. The ex-husband said to her "you're going to die if you don't quit drinking." Her kids said the same thing. Her middle boy cried a lot when speaking of his mother. While watching this I was thinking how that bottle takes over a person many times, and they're caught in a world that they think they can't get out of.

The intervention took place. Donna was very upset that she was entrapped. She said she wouldn't go to rehab (she was drunk). Then when her middle boy spoke (after several other family members), something changed in Donna. She became open when she saw her boy cry and she said, yes, she would go to rehab.

She did, and if you watch the show you know that they will come back to the person and the rahab place a few months later. When they did, Donna looked like a new woman. She looked happy, she was doing her artwork, she had makeup on---that's my favorite part of the show.

Who knows if Donna will forever be off alcohol, but she's on the right road. Her kids were important to her and she was willing to give up the alcohol to be able to see her kids and have a life.

About the "God Stuff"

2009-04-15T13:43:00.000-07:00

The word God has a way of making some people cringe or change the subject. Especially when people say, just turn to God. Or, let God change you. Or, let us pray. You know what I’m talking about, the people who roll their eyes at that “God stuff.” Maybe they think someone is trying to sell something. Is it God, or the people talking about God that makes others want to cringe or run away?

We all know certain people who use the word God in a way that’s overbearing or just plain wrong. History books are full of people like that. I’m a former drunk, smoker and overeater who turned to God to help me quit my addictions.

I can't say what God is. I don't know how God "works." But I do know there is something out there – and many use the word God – that helps us.

Share your “God stuff” stories with your comments to this blog.

Don't Live By Your Feelings

2009-04-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

I went to a lecture yesterday and I heard the words "don't live by your feelings because you'll never have the life you want." I thought of my situation, having overcome 3 addictions.....yes I got over 3 addictions but I now must stay off (for me) alcohol, cigarettes and junk food.

The other day I was walking out of a store and I saw someone smoking a cigarette close to the door of the store. I smelled the cigarette and it smelled fantastic. Now if I'd have done what I "felt like" I wanted to do, I would have smoked a cigarette. But I made the committment a long time ago that I was done with cigarettes so within 2 seconds that thought was out of my head and I went on my way. But I remember thinking at that time how easy it would be for so many people to just decide to give in and have the cigarette because they felt like it.

Same thing with alcohol. I've seen so many people quit drinking for a year or 2 then something comes up in their lives that is difficult so they go back to the bottle, knowing they can quit any time they want. And the game starts all over again.

So I say don't live by your feelings. Decide what it is you want to do and do it. The good news too about deciding what you want and/or what you're going to do is that since the decision was made, there's no room for indecision.

You Know You're a Drunk When.....

2009-04-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

You know how the jokes begins: You know you’re a redneck if … Or, you know you’re from New York if ….
Well, it’s no joke if you know you’re a drunk. Or suspect you are. Or want to print this out and anonymously send it to a friend who is a drunk. Take it from me, a former drunk.

You know you’re a drunk when …
• You really “need” a drink.
• You “have” to drink every day.
• You can’t remember saying no to “just one more.”
• You drink to avoid even the thought of withdrawal.
• You are fondest of places (like bars) where you can always get a drink.
• You are always thinking about that next drink.

Are you a drunk? Quit. I did. “I Quit” is the name of the book I wrote on quitting booze, cigarettes and overeating (www.dovelinpublishing.com).
Was it easy? No. I’m just an ordinary person who took an honest look at myself.
It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t pleasant. I asked for help from my family. I gave up “friendships” and stayed away from bars. I asked for help from a higher power. I did not do it alone.

Was it worth it? Absolutely. I’m free of my addictions.
Being a drunk is not a joke, and neither is quitting.
But I did it. You can, too!

Blunt Talk About Dumb Diets

2009-04-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

Did that diet you heard about on late night television sound too good to be true? Guess what? It is.

Spring is in the air, which means more diets guaranteed to magically take that weight off are being advertised on television, in magazines, in newspapers and on radio. The warmer the weather gets, the hotter the claims by the makers of each new fad diet.

The Internet, of course, is loaded with bad diets, too. The good news is that you can also find reports on the Internet on how dumb and sometimes downright dangerous those fad diets can be for your health. So do your homework.

Go to Google.com or any other Internet search engine and type in “debunking diets.” Up will pop hundreds of articles that are sourced by scientists, doctors and solid research. One I found is at www.vegsource.com/attwood/zone.htm. It debunks six diets in one easy-to-read article.

If you’re overweight, rid your home of “bad” foods featuring refined grains, too much sugar and unhealthy fats, and cut your meal portions in half. One study found that meal portions are at least 25 percent smaller in other Western countries. Stock up on vegetables, fruits and whole grains. And start exercising more.

To help you get started, try this calorie and exercise counter from the American Cancer Society. You can personalize it, too. Go to: www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_6_1x_Calorie_Calculator.asp.

I once weighed more than 200 pounds, and now I’m at my right weight. I didn’t do it with fad diets (well initially I did until I learned to do it right), and that’s why I’ve kept the extra weight off for more than 20 years.

Want more tips and support? Go to www.dovelinpublishing.com.
Share your stories about dumb diets with your comments to this blog.

You Don't Need to Know Why You're Addicted

2009-03-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

Junk is a Four-Letter Word in any Food Group

2009-03-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Sure, there’s a terrible recession, and it’s keeping us up at night. We stress out about losing a job. Or maybe we’re about to lose a job. Or maybe we can’t pay our bills with two jobs. So we turn to junk food.

And we’re not alone. The American Psychological Association’s recent survey on stress found that almost 50 percent of us are stressed out about the economy. And about half of us who are stressed out either skip meals, eat too much or turn to junk food.

To put it bluntly, junk is the four-letter word in any food group. And it will do you far more harm than other curse words when you’re stressed out about this economy. So cut it out. You know better.

I once weighed in at more than 200 pounds before I just said no to junk food. I was already addicted to cigarettes, too, before I quit them. And if I can do it, so can you.

Need help? Immediately toss out any junk food in your house. If it costs $20, think how much more it will cost you if you eat that junk food in terms of future doctor bills and all those new “fat” clothes.

When you’re tempted, take a walk for 10 minutes until you stop thinking about that four-letter word. Drink two glasses of ice-cold water to fill up fast, and drown that hunger pang for junk. Call someone who will give you a pep talk. Call on God, or whatever you want to call your higher power.

Fighting an Addiction Is Useless

2009-03-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

I don't think fighting something like an addiction is ever going to work in the long run. We're taught that that's exactly what we have to do to get rid of something in our lives but from my experience, it doesn't work.

When I quit drinking over 21 years ago I never fought thoughts that came up. I made the decision ahead of time that I was done with drinking, so I never went through that stage. I'm glad I didn't because if I'd have had to fight the feelings and thoughts about drinking, I know that alcohol would have won out.

Same thing with overeating and smoking. I gently let those addictions go. Well, with the food thing, it was more of a surrendering---I was 16 years old and I bawled my eyes out to God asking that if He were real, then HE would have to take the addiction away from me. He did from that day forward.

So I know that the conventional wisdom is to fight the thing you don't want anymore in your life---in this example your addiction---I say and KNOW, it doesn't work. Oh, it might work for awhile, but it will eventually catch up to you and your addiction will probably win.

So give up the fight. I love and firmly believe in the phrase "What you resist, persists."

Doing What You Know is Right Even If You Don't Feel Like It

2009-03-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning NOT in a good mood. In fact I haven't felt this crappy in a long time. I went to the gym not in a good mood, I shopped not in a good mood and I'm sure my cats know I'm not in a good mood today too.

But..even though it's not my best day I still do the things I know I need to do, knowing the feeling I'm feeling today will pass (hopefully soon). I still watched 1/2 hour of spiritual tv with my morning coffee, went to the gym, took a shower, cleaned up a litte---even though I didn't feel like doing any of it. It's Sunday and I could have woken up, said I feel bad today and I'm not doing a thing because I don't want to.

But I've been doing the things I know I need to do since I quit drinking over 21 years ago. When I quit drinking I decided to create good habits and stick with them throughout my life. And I am. So there was no decision if I'd go to the gym or spend time with God first thing this morning. It's a daily habit.

So I say you need to do what it is you need to do even if you don't feel like it. Because there will be so many times when you won't feel like it. Work through the feelings and do it. You'll be so glad you did, and you'll realize you can count on yourself more and more because you DON'T go with how you feel, rather with what you know you need to do.

Getting Blunt about Binge Drinking

2009-03-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

So you’re not an alcoholic? You just occasionally get drunk? Well, then you’ve got a serious problem. According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 75 percent of alcohol consumed by adults in the United States is binge drinking. That’s drinking four or more drinks within two hours.

Don’t want to go out socially with an alcoholic? Don’t get in the car with a binge drinker, either. According to the federal government, binge drinkers are 14 percent more likely to report alcohol-impaired driving than non-binge drinkers.

And don’t just think that only crazy college kids do the binge drinking. The government reports that 70 percent of binge drinking episodes involve adults over the age of 25.

Stay away from those “happy hour” situations that encourage binge drinking.
Print this blog and leave it where a binge drinker will see it.

Stop lying to yourself if you’re a binge drinker. Binge drinking is an addiction. Admit it; then stop it.I did too much binge drinking when I was addicted to alcohol, and I’m lucky to be alive.

Do whatever you have to. Get with a program. Get with a higher power. Get honest with yourself. Just quit!

Third-Hand Smoke Hurts Too

2009-03-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

First-hand smoke is the stuff that goes right to your lungs, makes you look old and wrinkled before your time, gives you cancer and heart disease and a lot of other usually fatal diseases. Second-hand smoke? That’s the stuff you blow on other people to make them seriously sick, too.

Now, expect to hear a lot more about third-hand smoke. The Journal of Pediatrics this year ran a report on third-hand smoke, and the news media is picking up on it, too.

Third-hand smoke is the residue you can’t see that sticks to your clothes, your hair, the walls, floors and furniture. It’s why non-smokers know you’re a smoker even if you don’t have a cigarette in your hand. They can smell it in your hair, on your clothes and on anything else you’re near.

And those same poisons that you blow into your own lungs also are in the third-hand smoke that others can pick up by touching you, your walls, your floors, your furniture. There are 250 – yep, 250! – poisons found in cigarette smoke, according to surgeon general’s reports. Like cyanide and arsenic.

What should you do? Quit smoking!

Stop! Don’t Look at People Smoking!

2009-03-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

If you want to quit smoking, you already know to stay away from smokers. In fact, now there’s proof that even looking at people smoking can keep you from quitting.

A new study published this year in a medical trade magazine called Psychopharmacology looks at what happens when ex-smokers even look at photographs of someone smoking.

The study’s researchers did brain scans of smokers after they were shown a photograph of other people smoking. The brain scans were done either 24 hours before they quit or 24 hours after they quit.

What the brain scans showed was increased activity in those parts of the brain that make us crave things – like a cigarette if we’re addicted to them.

So if you’re trying to quit, don’t be around smoking. Don’t even look at pictures. But that’s not always possible. So you’re going to also have to re-train your brain not to respond. It’s like breaking any bad habit. Use your willpower. Use your intelligence. Know that it takes time for cravings to go away.

To help yourself, stay away from drinking coffee if you have always had a cup of coffee with a cigarette. Drink tea, or drink a cola. Chew carrots. Keep a drinking straw at your desk and “inhale” if you must. It’s harmless, and it can wean you from nicotine.

I quit, and I’m no superwoman. I just did it. You can, too!

Visit the Web site of www.dovelinpublishing.com for more tips on how to quit.

What President Obama Should Stop Talking About

2009-03-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

President Obama, stop talking about quitting smoking. Just quit.
When I quit smoking, I didn’t tell anyone for three months after I put out that last cigarette. This is something you must do for yourself. What I didn’t need was outside opinions.

If you talk about quitting, and you really don’t believe it deep down inside, you’re going to open yourself up to a lot of outside pressure – even if it’s good intentions that’s behind it.

Whether you’re a public figure or just an ordinary person like me, there’s a betting mentality that can take place, that of, ‘Will he win this battle or not?’ Quitting is personal, so don’t encourage a betting pool over your life choices if you don’t want that extra pressure. Sure, if you really trust someone, it’s always okay to share. But skip the billboards. Just focus on quitting.

I didn't tell anyone for three months that I hadn't had a cigarette in quite a while. I thought it important to keep this to myself. I didn’t want any feedback from anyone. Even getting support from someone isn't what I needed.
After several months of not smoking, I finally told others and myself that I didn’t smoke anymore. I had smoked for 28 years, starting with two packs a day before getting it down to two a day.

And then I stopped. I shut up about it, and just quit.

It's Okay To Cry

2009-02-25T07:48:00.000-08:00

I remember wanting to get buzzed with alcohol when I was addicted to drinking. I looked forward to it. I planned it. I sometimes had to time it just right so that I could cop a buzz from my home with a drink before going out for a round of social drinking.

There were ruined relationships and fights with boyfriends. But at the time, I would rather keep my alcohol than a boyfriend. When I quit, it took me about six months to get a clear mind.

Then I learned to enjoy being sober. There is something wonderful about being able to have once been addicted to a drug, overcome it and say that it's truly a joy to be sober. I can better handle whatever comes my way in life now.

What happens when things go wrong? I cry. When my father died, I cried for days. I missed him tremendously. I didn’t drink. I didn’t want to. Instead, I cried.

Drinking had been a crutch, and not a good one. Now, when things become so overwhelming that I feel that I’ve got to do something, I have learned that crying can be a great release.

Don't Let a Bad Economy Be Your Lousy Excuse

2009-02-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

Sure, it’s a bad, bad economy out there. People are losing their homes and their jobs. If you haven’t lost your job or place to live, you could be next. That’s the kind of stress that studies show are causing people to slip back into their old habits.

The national public health think tank, the American Legacy Foundation, reported the results of a new survey this year that linked stress over the current recession to more smokers increasing the number of cigarettes they smoked. And the foundation reported that many who had quit smoking took up smoking again.

Is this your excuse to go ahead and put your plans to quit your addictions on hold? Until things get a little better? Is this your excuse to say, well, look at all those other people who are falling off their wagons; why shouldn’t I light up, take a drink or scrap the diet?

To put it bluntly, what a lousy excuse!

Addictions are bad for your health and cost a lot of money you should not be throwing around in a bad economy. Cigarettes won’t pay your bills, and candy bars or six-packs won’t put more money in your bank account. Addictions can get you fired faster, and they certainly won’t help you find a new job.

So don’t even think about it. Arm yourself with the knowledge that bad economies can cause you a lot of stress. Then do something about the stress that you’re feeling. Exercise or meditate. Or both. Hit the job boards instead of the bars to find a part-time job or other ways to make more money. If you already fell down, pick yourself up and move forward right now. You can do it!

Respond to this blog with other ways to get rid of the stress, and I’ll share them in a future report.

Who Says You Have to Go It Alone?

2009-02-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

Do You Realize You Could Quit Your Addiction Today?

2009-02-15T08:25:00.001-08:00

I was driving to the gym this morning and seemingly out of nowhere I thought of how possible it is for anyone suffering from addiction to quit today. Think about it. Let's say you've been an alcoholic for years, you've quit and gone back to it several times. You've lost confidence in yourself to the point where you never think you can quit. You're depressed and think it will never happen for you.

Then turn that thought process around. (Let's use that same example) You're hungover today, you have your coffee to wake up, you sit there thinking about the possibility of never drinking again, although it's hard to imagine that because you've failed so many times when trying to quit. But today is different. Your mind opens up for the first time to the reality that it IS possible to quit. Oh my God! You see that it's doable. You make plans for your future because you've decided drinking was a thing of the past. You realize that you are in charge of your life and if you say you want to put down that drink forever, you can. You also decide you won't let any thoughts of alcohol and wanting alcohol ever again to occupy your thoughts. You're giving it up right there--in your room today---drinking your coffee.

Does it seem like a possible scenario? That's exactly how it happened for me 21.5 years ago, the day I gave up alcohol and I never looked back.

Be Your Own Valentine

2009-02-11T07:48:00.000-08:00

Are You Afraid to Quit Your Addiction?

2009-02-08T08:43:00.000-08:00

When you think of quitting your addiction, I bet many fears come to the surface: what will I do with all the spare time I will now have? Or how will I handle life’s problems without my addiction? And what if I try to quit then go back to it later and feel like a total failure?

I was lucky, I guess you could call it, by knowing on Day 1 that I wasn’t going to drink ever again. The decision was made on that morning over 21 years ago by me. And looking back, I’m so glad for my sanity that I made that decision. I knew how my mind worked---very obsessive---and if I didn’t decide on that day to quit for good, my thoughts would have tried to get me to go back to drinking forever. That’s how it is with addictions---the mind plays games with you (haven’t you noticed)?

So get the fear out of your life. How? You have to find out for yourself what works for you, whether it's God, Spirituality, classes, therapy---something will work. For me it was as easy as declaring what I wanted. I wanted to not EVER want alcohol again so I could live my life without all those thoughts trying to get me to drink. I wanted more peace in my life.

Try it for yourself. Let me know how you're doing.

Will "Trying" to Quit My Addiction Work?

2009-02-04T07:35:00.000-08:00

I say NO it won't. When we try something we leave ourselves very open to the possibility of it not working. If anything comes up such as---it's too difficult (that's a big one!), I'm too stressed to quit now or I don't think I'll be able to quit for good so I just won't try at all.

If you take out the word "try" and replace it with a phrase like "I will quit" or "I have decided to quit" you can see how much more powerful you will feel. You're now coming from a place of conviction. You're not being wimpy and "trying" to quit anymore.

On the day I quit drinking over 21 years ago I said to myself "I am done drinking. I will not go to a bar and get a juice or bottled water but really would rather have a drink. No it's done starting right now--today." That conviction helped me more than you know. It prevented all the times since I quit when I could have been tempted to drink. But I haven't been tempted to drink ever since I quit.

So don't "try" to quit your addiction......."quit!" your addiction.

Won't I Always Miss My Addiction If I Quit?

2009-02-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

I get this question a lot. I quit drinking 21 years ago, quit smoking 8 years ago and I've been at a good, comfortable weight for about 20 years after years of being fat. I don't miss any of my former addictions. But I didn't think that would be the case when I was drinking, smoking or eating candy bars, Twinkies and candy.

Sometimes in life you can't see the other side of a situation until after you make the commitment and do what you need to do---in this case, quit your addiction. In the beginning you probably will miss the addiction you gave up because you're used to the habit of your addiction. I know when I smoked I had certain times of the day when I smoked a cigarette and when the time was approaching I could almost feel like I was getting a nicotine craving. I didn't get them at other times of the day. Looking back, I now know it was a psychological craving because I knew "it was time to smoke."

I also believe that when you quit your addiction you can tell yourself that it will NOT be interfering in your life and you will NOT be beholding to it anymore. The day I quit drinking I was sitting in my room, hungover, and I told myself that starting that day I was giving up alcohol for good. And that included in my mind as well. I "told" myself that if I went out to bars ever again with my friends that I would get a bottled water or juice, not because I couldn't have alcohol, but because I "chose" something other than alcohol. I would never go into a bar again and truly want alcohol, but get juice because I couldn't drink. I made a vow that day to give up alcohol physically AND mentally.

And it worked. I've been to restaurants, bars, parties---I never consider taking a drink because I made the decision 21 years ago. Funny how the mind goes along with what you tell it.

You Know What to Do to Quit Your Addiction

2009-01-28T07:39:00.000-08:00

I believe that we tell ourselves that “we have to read a book first about addictions” or “we have to have therapy to see why I’m addicted” or “I can’t quit now because I’m not happy” to put off doing the inevitable---quitting the addiction.

If you honestly ask yourself what you would need to do, for example, starting today to get you to end your addiction I bet you could say what that was (remember I said honestly ask yourself). Maybe it’s to smoke ½ of what you normally do. Or sign up for a membership at the gym, knowing you will utilize the gym this time. I don’t know what that is for you, but you do.

And think about WHY you want to quit. You’ll not only feel better, but you’ll know that you’ve accomplished something really big! You will realize you can do the thing you once thought that you couldn’t do. It’s time to not put it off anymore.

Face It To Erase It

2009-01-25T08:30:00.001-08:00

I saw this phrase on the Suze Orman show last night. She was referring to a caller who had admitted out loud she was several thousand dollars in debt. But it reminded me of addiction. Most of the time we live with our addiction and keep all of our thoughts and feelings about it to ourselves. We don't dare share it with others. I say this because it's what I did most of the time when I was addicted to alcohol, food and cigarettes. It was my personal misery and I didn't want to share it with anyone. I'd rather they see the fun, happy and carefree side of me (which was the fake me).

If you face the fact that you have an addiction, I believe that is the first step. But the problem is so many times we say "I don't have an addiction. I could quit tomorrow." But tomorrow doesn't come very often. Be bold--face the fact you have an addiction, then decide to do something about it. Life is short. Living life without your addiction will be---well, you really won't know the sweetness of it until you quit.

8 Years Ago Today I Smoked My Last Cigarette

2009-01-19T08:11:00.000-08:00

I didn't even know it at the time that it would be my last, but it was.

I had one of the worst colds in my life for 5 days and couldn't smoke. Normally I wouldn't let anything get in the way of me smoking, even if I was sick. So for me not to smoke for 5 days---let me just say my cold was bad!

But on day 5 of me not smoking, I was a bit ticked off at work because the supervisor was getting to me and I told myself that I would treat myself to a smoke after work because "I deserved it!" I was looking forward to it---a lot!

I got home, grabbed my pack of cigarettes and my lighter and headed outside to have my long-awaited cigarette. I took the first puff. It was terrible! With my cold and not having had a cigarette for 5 days it felt like I was smoking my first cigarette, which as people who smoke know, the first cigarette doesn't taste good at all (but you stick with it until smoking becomes enjoyable).

I forced myself to continue. Each puff seemed worse until about the 5th puff. I was becoming nauseous. I had to stop for the day. I threw the rest of the cigarette into the ashtray. Little did I know then that it would be my last cigarette.

I'm glad I didn't have that much time to think about it either, because if I did, I probably would have been able to tell myself that "it's not a good time to quit. I'll quit at another time. Things are too stressful at work."

I never thought I'd become a non-smoker. But I am, and I have to say...that the freedom from tobacco is wonderful. I don't have to plan when and where I can smoke, buy them at the ridiculously high price they are and my lungs are clear. I can take a full, deep breath now.

I smoked for 28 years, have quit for 8 and know that I will never go back. I don't even think of cigarettes anymore. But they sure can smell good sometime....still.....

Do You Have to Love Yourself to Quit an Addiction?

2009-01-16T10:14:00.001-08:00

I was watching Oprah a few days ago. The first half of the show was about people who have lost weight and then put the weight (or a lot of the weight) back on. Oprah, as you probably know, gained 40 pounds last year. She's on a mission now to lose weight. Her first guest was someone who had lost over 200 pounds on "The Biggest Loser." He looked buff and thin when he hit his goal. But he gained over 100 pounds back and said he "sometimes didn't want to get out of bed in the morning because he just wanted to hide from everyone."

Then he said he learned "he has to love himself and put himself first." At that point Oprah agreed with him saying, that yes, it IS important to love yourself first and she had forgotten to do that too.

I personally cringe when I hear those words. I don't wake up in the morning and say "Linda, I love you and I'm going to put you first today." Why don't I? Because it's too much focus on ME.

Get the focus off of yourself, do what needs to be done---eat the correct way, exercise, meditate---but then live life. Forget about if you love yourself or not and forget about putting yourself first in your life.

I think you'll do better with quitting your addictions if you do.....

Don't Waste Your Life

2009-01-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

People are addicted for many reasons. Some say they're addicted because their parents didn't love them. Others may have had something horrible happen to them or someone in their family and blame that event for their addiction.

Some people identify who they are from the past. I've known people in my life who think they have a good excuse to drink or use drugs because "I didn't have a good childhood." OK. They may not have had a good childhood but being addicted because of the bad childhood will only exacerbate the problem. I had a great childhood, but my early teens weren't wonderful for me. Should I blame that fact and have a reason to ruin my life with addictions because of it? Does that solve the problem? Not at all.

Many spend years in therapy because their life didn't turn out the way it should have. What's done is done! You can't change the past. If you're drinking, using drugs, smoking---whatever the addiction is---to try and somehow alleviate the pain of the past, it will NOT work. You're wasting your life. You're stuck in the past. You're not moving forward.

We all have one life on this earth to live. When it's over, it's done--that's it. Do you want to live life wishing "if only" all your life? and being addicted because life wasn't fair? Or do you want to accept the past, quit your addictions and live the life you have left?

I choose the latter....

Quitting an Addiction Might Be Hard

2009-01-07T07:53:00.001-08:00

But you can do it. I was talking with a friend over the weekend about how, I believe, so many people think they can't do something because it's difficult. If they're on a diet and they get hungry and are uncomfortable, that's it. Diet is over. I can't stand being hungry is the excuse and the diet is over.

I remember for myself years ago when I was dieting, if I had started out dieting and had eaten anything at all that wasn't on my "diet" then I'd write "blew it" in my journal and I'd do just that---blow my diet and eat whatever I wanted to for the rest of the day, knowing that tomorrow I'd diet again. What a vicious cycle that was! It was all or nothing. And I was very depressed at that time living like that daily.

Take the time and really think and meditate on the fact that.....even though quitting an addiction is hard, it can be done. Can it really be that simple? I think it can.

Making the Decision to Quit

2009-01-04T08:18:00.001-08:00

If you keep going back and forth trying to decide if it's really going to work this time if you say you want to quit your addiction, I'll give you some advice that I know to be true, and has worked for me.

Adamantly declare "I am going to quit my addiction this time and I'm not going back to it." Isn't it a much stronger statement than something like "I'm going to try to quit and hope it works?" I see so many people saying the latter, when in fact, we need to speak strong statements.

And once you make the decision to quit something else happens. The path will seem easier because you've made the decision to quit. If you truly decided to quit, then all of the help will "magically" seem to be there for you. Your mind won't constantly ask itself if you are really going to quit or not---you've made the decision.

Oh, sure, there will be times when things seems tough but you'll get through it. I remember when I quit drinking 21 years ago. I thought my whole life would be a cake walk from then on because I'd quit drinking. Then about 3 months later I found myelf crying for seemingly no reason. In the past I would have picked up a drink if I was upset. Now I didn't have that option. So what did I do? I cried as much as I neeeded to.

So make the decision to quit and see how it may not be as difficult as you thought it would be. And if life DOES get difficult, you'll soon realize that going back to your addiction will actually only exacerbate the problem.

We Don't Live Forever

2009-01-01T08:44:00.000-08:00

It's January 1, 2009 as I'm writing this. Since I quit drinking 21 years ago I think I may have stayed up once to see the ball drop in Times Square. It just doesn't excite me to stay up anymore. Yeah, I guess I'm a bit boring.

As I worked out this morning thinking about what I wanted to write about today, I thought of the fact that we don't live forever. We think we have lots of time to do the things we have planned in our life. We think we can put off quitting our addictions until there is "a better time." There IS no better time. The time really is now!

I think it's important to remember---daily if you need to----that you only live once on this earth (as far as we know anyway). Why not just decide today to take care of business and quit your addiction? It's preventing you from becoming the best person you can be in your life for yourself and others.

Let me know how you're doing and if I can help in any way to get you on the right path to quit your addiction.
Oh, and Happy New Year......

Don't Give Into Your Addiction Just Because "You Want It"

2008-12-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

Every day you may have the desire to start using drugs again, start drinking, start eating crap---but those are only thoughts you have. You don't have to give into them. It seems like these days if we have a feeling or thought we think we have to give into that feeling. We don't. And if you don't give in to the thoughts that your mind is telling you (and most are lies anyway) you will come out a stronger person for it too.

I'll share with you my story about this topic regarding food. When I was really addicted to food, starting when I was 12 years old, I used to eat non-stop on many days. Then when I learned how to "diet" I would either wake up and "diet" all day or eat whatever I wanted to all day. There was never a happy medium because my mind told me diet or eat. Did it work? No. In fact I gained 90 pounds in 4 years. If I only had realized then that I didn't have to eat just because I had the thoughts to eat I may not have been so out of control. And being out of control is a horrible place to be in. I remember how terrible I felt truly believing that I had no control.

Looking back today, I sure did have control over my life. But nobody told me I did. I probably wouldn't have believed anyone anyway at the time, being so young. But having gone through it I can share my experiences with you and tell you that you do NOT have to give into your thoughts telling you that you have to go back to your addictions.

Isn't that a great thought? Maybe you didn't know that. Sounds simple but maybe you need to watch your thought process more to see how when your thoughts tell you to drink, eat, smoke---whatever---you can firmly and calmly say No! Those are just thoughts. I have control. Then after awhile those thoughts fade because they don't have power in your life.

Try it.....and let me know how you're doing.....

Thoughts of an Alcoholic

2008-12-21T08:10:00.001-08:00

I was watching another "Intervention" show a few nights ago and since it was recorded on my dvr, I stopped to write down some powerful things when I heard them.

This particular show was about a married couple who both were alcoholics. They both laughed and talked sarcastically a lot. Personally when I see people like this I think they're like that because they're afraid to face reality somehow (but that's just me). They would become sober for a short time---a week or so---and tell everyone they weren't drinking anymore, then go back to drinking, many times after going to an A.A. meeting. The kids knew it too so didn't get too excited when the parents said they weren't drinking anymore.

Benita was the woman's name and it showed her working out at a gym when she "had quit drinking." She was working out real hard and she told the interviewer....."I keep moving so I don't have to think because I know if I think, it's not normal thinking."

The daughter shared "she has the drinking problem because of not thinking. She had a bad childhood and she has to deal with it now."

During the actual intervention they both decided to go to a facility for 3 months (but to separate facilities). We got to see them 3 months later and it was so wonderful to see how vibrant and clear they both looked.

I love that show.....

A Few Reasons to Quit Your Addiction

2008-12-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

1) You'll just feel better overall---mentally and physically. I remember thinking about quitting smoking for years. Actually, it was difficult for me to truly contemplate quitting smoking because it scared me so much. How would I live without my cigarettes? I never thought I'd quit altogether. But I feel so good becuase I don't have breathing problems anymore and I know that I did something, well, HUGE!

2) You'll absolutely save money. I know that some people lose everything to support their addiction but for some people, especially in these times, it's important to save money. I wouldn't let money be the only criterion for quitting your addiction because when money is plentiful again you may go back. Just my thought on that.

3) Don't forget that we only live one time on this planet. You may have been run by your addiction for years. Sometimes when I have a decision to make I think of the words (Linda, you only live once) and it's much easier for me to make the right decision.

Changes Happen in Moments

2008-12-06T08:39:00.000-08:00

I saw this phrase on an informercial of all things this morning. I have heard this phrase a few times since I quit drinking 21 years ago. If any of you remember Dr. David Viscott, he had a call in radio show years ago. I heard he was going to be giving a talk in Santa Monica and I drove down to see him (about 20 years ago, he has since died). I even got the nerve to get up and ask him a question.

I told him about how I quit drinking one day, and I asked him why it seemed to happen so quickly. I was trying to figure out why I quit drinking so "easily". He too said the words "Change happens in momemts." I never forgot that phrase. It's one of those phrases when you hear you know you've been changed and it got to your soul?

You may be addicted now to alcohol or drugs---or shopping (although I'm not sure I really consider shopping an addiction). You wonder how it will ever end and IF it ever will.

Don't forget....and think about the powerful phrase.....that changes happens in moments...

There's Power in Words

2008-11-29T09:10:00.000-08:00

I’m sure you hear people saying sometimes “I’m a child of an alcoholic” or “I’m an abuse survivor” or “I’m an addict.”

People want to identify with something and many times they pick a phrase which, I believe, isn’t positive especially if the person is quitting and addiction. For myself, when I quit drinking I never said to anyone that I was an alcoholic. I figured I was done with the alcohol and I was moving on (and yes, I do know I'm an alcoholic). If I had gone to meetings every day and had to say “I’m Linda and I’m an alcoholic”, I would have thought the words negative, even if they were true.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with A.A. and groups like A.A., but I know how powerful words are. If you constantly say you’re an alcoholic you may have a problem with putting down the bottle for good because you keep saying that you’re an alcoholic, and alcoholics drinks.

If you quit an addiction, or you’re the daughter or son of an alcoholic, say it, then move on.

Taking Action

2008-11-22T09:06:00.000-08:00

I know I've talked about this topic several times but I just heard a great speaker talking about how it's so easy to listen to a tape, read a book, think about what you're going to do regarding your addiction---then do nothing. I did it for years and I'm sure you have too.

The interesting thing about when you take that step and do something--anything---to help yourself start in the direction of quitting your addiction, the heavy weight of being addicted is lifted, if even a little bit. Why? Because you're doing something to make changes. It's important to have a plan then take action.

You'll find that you'll be happier too. Your addiction doesn't seem so daunting and overwhelming when you start to take action.

Addiction is Unresolved Grief?

2008-11-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was watching Kelsey Grammer last night being interviewed on the talk show Huckabee. I've always liked Kelsey Grammer and the host asked him about his past. Kelsey Grammer's sister was murdered and his father committed suicide. He said that his sister's death was the worst to deal with for him because it was so senseless and violent. He became addicted to alcohol and drugs.

He said a wise person told him years ago that addiction was unresolved grief. He also said that in his opinion God was the only thing that could lift the grief. I had taped the segment and I went back and watched it again.

I tend to believe what Kelsey Grammer said---that God is the only one who can lift our grief for good.

Don't Wait for "The Best Time" To Quit

2008-11-10T08:17:00.000-08:00

I was watching something on television last night and the man was a drug addict. He knew he had to quit but he said it wasn't time yet. He didn't know why he was so full of rage all the time but he knew he had to figure that out first, before he quit his drugs.

I know this sounds right to most people. I used to think it too. But for myself, I had been drinking heavily for 12 years and I used to believe that if I figured out the reason WHY I drank, then I would be able to let go of alcohol easily. That's not how it turned out for me.

On the day I quit drinking, I knew I was done with drinking. I realized I may or I may not figure out why I drank, but it really didn't matter anyway even if I didn't because I was through with drinking.

So waiting for the right time might just be another excuse for not taking responsibility for quitting your addiction----now!

You Won't Always Want Your Old Addiction

2008-11-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

I've had so many people ask me over the years if I still miss smoking, drinking or eating junk. I say no, I don't anymore. It took time of course to be able to honestly say I didn't miss the addictions. Even though I would have never gone back to smoking, for example, I missed the alone time I had with my cigarette. Anyone who smokes or who has smoked knows what I mean by that. I looked forward to every single cigarette I had, especially when I took it and went outside to "think" and be alone. It was great!

But I don't think about it anymore. It took me a good 6-8 months I'd say to feel as if I'd totally forgotton smoking. The drinking happened literally overnight. I didn't want it again. The food thing---as I lost weight and started feeling better I naturally didn't want to eat junk food.

So it may take time to forget your addictions but it will happen. Don't think you're going to want the addiction you gave up for the rest of your life. You won't.

Don't Let Fear Design Your Life

2008-10-25T08:39:00.000-07:00

I heard Dr. Laura say this recently on her radio show. I had to write it down because I think it's such a powerful statement. I let fear run my life for years back when I was drinking. I thought I was drinking because it was fun and I liked to be social. That wasn't true. The truth was I was living in fear. I didn't know what I wanted to do and be in my life, I wasn't really happy in any of my relationships and I had no goals. None! I drank as a past-time, but it turned into more of a full-time gig.

You can save yourself a lot of time by facing your fear when you're aware that it's starting to affect your life.

What to Expect When You Quit Your Addiction

2008-10-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Expect your life to be strange & different. You're getting used to not falling back on addictions. I remember thinking how "weird" my life was when I quit drinking. Even though I thought it was fantastic that I had quit, I wasn't sure of the day to day things I had to do and the people I would meet in the world when I wasn't drinking. The old me would often have a few drinks before I went out to even do errands.

I remember too thinking that every day was new and I didn't know what to expect, but there was a bit of adventure in it too. What WAS this day going to bring? Could I handle it better because I wasn't drinking?

After about a year of being sober my life seemed to settle a bit but I drank heavily for 12 years so it took time for my life to seem "normal." But I love not being buzzed and drunk anymore. I could never go back to drinking.

I Watched that "Intervention" TV Show

2008-10-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

The guy Chad was now a crack cocaine user and alcoholic. He was talking about how it hurt him when his parents divorced and it hurt just as much when he was kicked off a bicycle racing team. He turned to drugs and alcohol.

His sister was talking and said that all Chad had to look forward to every day was getting high. I thought about that. I guess I used to think that way when I drank almost every day. Drinking was my high point, figuratively and literally.

It was great to watch the actual intervention. Chad was very willful and said he would NOT go to a drug treatment facility. His parents told him if he didn't they would stop all contact with him. He got up and left, giving all of them "the finger" as he told them "no" he wouldn't go to treatment. He was off to go back living in the streets where he had lived for a few years.

The interventionist found him the next day and said he had one last chance to say yes to treatment. Chad said yes and went out of state to a facility.

The part that I couldn't wait to see was the 3 months later---the family went to see Chad. I got emotional right along with the family seeing Chad. He had cut his hair, had nice clothes on and looked to clear and alive. Later they all sat down and Chad had written something he wanted to read to his parents to start making amends. When he started reading he said he was so sorry for what he'd put the parents through and he loved them so much. He broke down while reading it. Very emotional.

His real feelings came out when he was straight. Beautiful to see.

From the TV Show "The Cleaner"

2008-10-08T07:43:00.001-07:00

There's a need that overwhelms an addict.....a need that replaces love, pushes loved ones aside....opens a door that almost anyone can walk in. A need that makes a victim out of almost anyone.

How true.

Ya Gotta Have Moxie!

2008-10-03T16:30:00.000-07:00

When you decide to give up your addiction you really have to have moxie I believe. You have to be determined, be courageous and be prepared to face the demons that come up. And they will come up. Your thoughts will try to sabatoge you constantly, especially in the beginning of your road to be free of your addiction. Expect it, know it and it will be easier.

I always say that when I quit drinking 21 years ago I never wanted to drink again. That's true, but the thoughts came in the beginning for sure. "What about just going out once and drinking since you've quit for 6 months" or "We know you can do it. You can start over again because you know you can do it." Yes, these thoughts came to me. I recognized them, identified them, had a good chuckle and I didn't drink.

Have moxie....and isn't it a cool word too...moxie? Love it!

I Adopted a New Cat Today!

2008-09-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

This blog has nothing to do with addictions today. I lost my precious cat Wilson on July 23 this year. It was tough losing him even though he was probably close to 20 years old.

I went to ASAP in Santa Barbara. I support this place financially because they will not put down any cats that are brought in. They lovingly care for each cat until it gets adopted, and all eventually get adopted. I've been in about 6 times since Wilson died.

Today I left work early to go to ASAP and I picked a 5 year old orange and white cat (male) and brought him home. He's purring and rubbing up against me. He's very affectionate. I also have a 10 year female that's not too sure yet how she feels about a new cat. I have sensed however that Maggie has been missing having another cat around. Even though she never really liked Wilson she tolerated him and at least it was something to look at all day.

It's nice having 2 cats again...

What Happened to Conviction?

2008-09-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a big believer that when someone says they're going to do something, they do it. If you tell yourself you're going to do something do you follow through and do it? Or do you usually come up with excuses as to why you can't do it now or the circumstances are such that you can't finish now so you'll put it off...blah, blah, blah.....

I look around and I hate to say it but it seems that we just think we can do something if it's not difficult. Like quitting an addiction. We say we'd like to quit....but it will be too hard! It might be difficult but that doesn't mean you can't do it. Think about that. Instead of these words being depressing for you, let them be uplifting. YOU CAN QUIT YOUR ADDICTION.

Doesn't it feel good to hear the truth?

Be Bold!

2008-09-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about what I wanted to write in my blog tonight and this title flashed across my mind---Be Bold! What do I mean by that?

If you're going to take on quitting an addiction you must be bold. You will have so many circumstances come up where you think you won't be able to stay sober, off the cigarettes---whatever your addiction is. You will have doubts come up as to whether or not you can really stay free of the addiction. Family and friends--believe it or not---may try to sabotage your firm plans to get free of your addiction.

So learn to be bold! Speak up! Say no, and do what you have decided to do. You can do it. Remember, bold!

Will Life Be Perfect When You Quit Your Addiction?

2008-09-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

It's funny but that's what I thought when I was 16 years old. I thought if I lost weight and became thin my life would be perfect---no problems. Life would be bliss forever more. I also thought the same when I quit drinking. The first week I had quit drinking I was so happy and thinking "wow, life is going to be like this for the rest of my life." And I believed it!

Then I started having challenges a few months after I quit drinking. I had challenges when I was drinking too but I just drank and rarely tackled the challenges. I remember crying a lot for months off and on. Why?

Because I was getting used to having to face life. Before I drank and now I wasn't drinking. I'm so glad that I was aware of what was happening because I knew I'd perservere and it would eventually get better. And it did.

Just know that quitting your addiction won't necessarily make your life perfect, but your life will be infinitely better. Life will be better solely because you quit your addiction. But if you're open and willing to do the work that needs to be done in your life to change, you'll improve all throughout your life.

My Book's Release Date.....

2008-09-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

was yesterday and I forgot to blog! I woke up in the morning and I sat drinking my coffee thinking - wow! 5 years ago I got the book idea and KNEW I would see it through until it was finished...and here is the day.

There were so many difficulties during those years: I went through 2 deaths and stopped everything with the book; things just dragged on and on at times and it seemed I'd never finish and since I'd never written a book before I didn't know who to call to help me---editors, cover design people, proofreaders. It was all a total learning experience but it was worth it. I learned when I quit drinking 21 years ago that I could do anything I set out to do.

And you know.....I have a book...I'm an author.....I'm published....and it feels good!

Take One Penquin Step at a Time

2008-09-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

I know how overwhelming life can get when you're trying to change something in your life, such as quitting an addiction. If it's drinking you're quitting you may be thinking ahead of all the things you will probably have to do: not see some friends so much or completely let them go from your life, go to A.A. meetings or do something else productive to fill up the time you used to spend drinking, taking up new hobbies, reading books. Whatever it is, yes, it can be overwhelming.

My suggestion is to just do one thing today...take a penguin step. If you know all you are asking of yourself today is to change one thing, then it's doable isn't it? You can do it today---change one thing. Tomorrow take another penguin step and do something else that supports your quitting drinking.

Penguin steps, penguin steps, ahhhhh penguin steps......

Support After You Quit Your Addiction

2008-09-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

When I quit drinking I only told my boyfriend, mom, sister and my best friend. This was something so huge for me---quitting drinking---that I didn't want anyone's thoughts, comments or praise. I just kept it to myself for several months.

From day 1 I had support from those whom I told. They really never said much, but I think they were just all amazed that I was quitting for good. I asked my family and friends years later if they believed me when I said I was quitting drinking in 1987. Every single one of them said they knew that this time was different---they all knew I was going to quit for good. They were all very happy too! A huge weight lifted from friends and family. Linda is not longer drinking!

Support is important when you're dealing with quitting addictions. But even if you don't seem to have that much support, it's still important to quit for yourself. I know how nice it is for people to be saying nice things about the fact that you're not smoking, drinking---whatever the addiction is---but you still can give yourself support if others don't. Give yourself the old "attaboy" or "attagirl!"

It's Easy to Put Off Losing Weight

2008-09-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

I know it's easy to put off quitting an addiction because I did it all the time. I used to say "I'll start losing weight tomorrow." Then I'd eat a bunch of crap until I couldn't eat anymore. I played this game for years with myself, mostly with food. I had a sure-fire way to lose weight quickly so I thought I'd just enjoy eating and gaining weight since I knew I could get that weight off so quickly.

But it never happened the way I thought it would. I gained weight and every time I tried to go on one of my quick weight loss diets I got sick and had to "eat normally" until I felt better. So my plan back-fired.

If you really want to quit your addiction you need to make the decision to do it, then just do it. Sounds easy? It really is.

Feeling Weighed Down

2008-09-05T15:55:00.000-07:00

When I was 210 pounds I would lie in bed and think what an effort it was going to be to get up out of bed. I was carrying about 80 extra pounds at the time and if you think about it, it's like dragging around 10 newborns all the time! Since it's been so long since I was overweight I can't remember that much about my thoughts at that time. I just remember that I felt hatred towards myself and I felt like a glutton. I was embarassed of what people were most likely thinking of the way I looked. I was shy back then too.

So what did I do? I ate more....and more....which added to my feeling hatred for myself. But since I didn't have a good image of myself it was easy to eat and hate myself and hate my body. Catch-22 isn't it? I hate myself, I eat, I get fat.

That was a depressing way to live...

Exercise Helps When You're Quitting an Addiction

2008-09-03T13:00:00.000-07:00

When I quit drinking 21 years ago one of the first changes I made in my life was that I started exercising. I think I started the first week i quit. I would get home from work and get my jeans and tennis shoes on and be out the door in 5 minutes. I used to have a drink in my hand 5 minutes after I got home so I didn't want to hang around the apartment at all. I just didn't want the old "alcohol" thoughts to come and try to nudge me to drink again. I knew I wouldn't drink, but I wanted to get right into a new routine.

I'd walk for about 1.5 miles every night for several months then I started working out at the gym and have been a member for over 20 years. I go to the gym on the average of 5 times a week now. I just love the feeling of getting the endorphines flowing. I'll always exercise. In my opinion, exercise is something healthy you can do for yourself and you just feel better, sleep better and it gives your face a nice color too! When you're doing healthy things for yourself, your mind starts thinking of health, rather than addictions. That's what happened for me anyway....

It May Not Be Easy To Quit An Addiction...

2008-09-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

But you still can do it. I know even for myself sometimes I think I can't do something because it's not easy. It might take some work and I doubt myself. Then when I'm thinking clearly I see how absurd those thoughts are and I admit that I CAN do the thing I thought I couldn't.....but it won't be easy. Then I'm back on track again to figure out how I'm going to do it.

Same thing with addictions. I've seen and spoken with people who doubt they can quit the addiction that's ruining their lives. They'd rather have their lives run by their addiction than to get some grit and tackle their problem. I think they see it as "easier". I don't think so!

It sounds strange to say this but I will---when you're going through quitting your addiction and it gets difficult, tell yourself "it may be difficult but I can do it." And then do it!

Television Show "The Cleaner"

2008-08-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

I love "The Cleaner" on A&E. It stars Benjamin Bratt and the premise is this man (Bratt) devotes his life to saving people suffering from addictions. He made a promise to God when he was using....that if He saved him, he'd help others with getting over their addictions.

The last one I watched was about a man who was addicted to meth. He promised his son who was in and out of foster care that he was clean and that he was saving money for the 2 of them to move in together. The boy was happy and looking forward to it.

Life got too tough it seems for this man---he couldn't borrow money to be able to get a place for him and his kid---so he went back to the meth. His son was going by to see his dad and that's when he saw him smoking the meth. The son left, crying and came back later when the father was working.

The boy went up to his father and said "What's it like to get high? What is so good about it?"

The father said "It's poison. It's killing me 45 seconds at a time. I know that I still can't stop it. I know what it's doing and I still can't help think what it's gonna be like the next time I smoke and that feeling is the most consuming thing in my world right now.

This was so indicative of what addicts think and feel. Desperate, hopeless.....wow....

In the Days When I Used to Drink a Lot.....

2008-08-27T18:16:00.000-07:00

there was a radio show (KLOS) that I loved listening to but it was on at odd hours---Sunday morning from 5-9 am (not that bad) and early Monday morning from 1:00 - 5:30 am (bad!). The host Michael Benner is a spiritual man who talked about God, spirituality and living in peace on this planet.

On the nights I didn't drink I would enjoy listening. I always felt happy that I had abstained from alcohol so I could listen to the show (in those days there weren't podcasts to listen to the show later). But that was only maybe half the time. The other half of the time I was too hungover to get up and listen to the show. On those days I felt hopeless---hopeless that again, I couldn't turn down drinks so I could listen to the radio show and better myself.

I wrote about this in my book and emailed Michael about a year ago telling him that he inspired me and that I had included me listening to him on the radio in my book. He used to say all the time "If we only knew how powerful we were." I guess it stuck and on the day I quit drinking those words came to me throughout the entire day. I didn't ask for them, they just stayed with me all day. But I changed the "we" to "I" and said to myself....."If I knew how powerful I was....I could stop drinking for good." And I did.

We emailed recently and I sent him a copy of the book a few days ago. I told him how he inspired me and he thanked me for sending him the book. I love happy endings!